Girl on the Net

For reasons that I will explain in a later blog post or (more likely) never explain at all, these days when men come to visit overnight I ask them to sleep in the spare room. It’s nothing personal. No man is allowed to share my bed. The up side of this is that I get a decent night’s sleep which means I am capable of having fun the next day. The down side is that sometimes I find myself lying awake and horny at 5 in the morning, fantasising about the tempting cock attached to the guy in the bedroom next door, lamenting the fact that I have no one to rub my bum against till they get hard and wake up to shag me. Usually I’m an advocate of the motto ‘it can’t hurt to ask!’ but I’m working on the assumption that 5am is a hard limit for almost everyone, so I do not venture to the spare room on a dick hunt. I just pop on a blindfold to shield my eyes from the dawn and debate whether it’s too early in the day to have a wank.

So I’m lying in bed, sweaty and frustrated and the kind of horny that you only get when you’re both on your period and recently, thoroughly fucked, wishing it was socially acceptable to go prod a sleeping man and say ‘oi, get in my cunt’ two hours before rush hour’s even started. I figure it’s absolutely not acceptable, and it may well ruin his day.

Luckily for me, though, after a mere hour of idly conjuring the exact sensation of his cock sliding ever-so-slowly into me, I hear the sound of his bedroom door go before he nips across the hallway to the bathroom.

He’s awake!

Should I…?

I mean… it’d be weird, wouldn’t it? But who’s awake at this time of the morning in the home of their favourite sex blogger and not nurturing at least a tiny bit of hope that she might ask them for a fuck?

I always say that as long as you’re willing to accept a ‘no’ with good grace, it usually can’t hurt to ask. But he’s got work today, so he’ll be tired, and I’m just a horny layabout so it’s probably not fair of me to… oh OK yeah I am actually going to ask. I’m going to do this. Can’t hurt, right?

I pop my head out of my bedroom door and say “hey, obviously say no if you like but… I’m really horny, do you wanna come join me?”

He – extremely cute when dishevelled-as-fuck – looks at me with bleary eyes from beneath tousled hair and mumbles “ummm thank you but no I’m quite tired right now.”

Shit.

Shit.

Shitshitshit.

I retreat back into my bedroom thinking two things:

1. That was a long shot, it’s not surprising I failed and
2. I didn’t even try that hard! What a complete waste of an opportunity.

I am absolutely cringing myself to pieces at how terrible an approach that was. I mean, sure, I am exhausted – I’ve had about four hours sleep, and sleep is sacred to me, so I couldn’t exactly be expected to crack out the full Casanova. But ‘obviously say no if you like’ and ‘do you wanna come join me?’ are not exactly the most seductive of lines. I didn’t even fully open the door, wearing only my knickers, flashing him my tits to sweeten the deal. Let’s face it, I barely put more effort in that I would have if I’d texted ‘pls bring me dick xxx’. Come to think of it, maybe that would actually have been better than the half-arsed, nervous non-approach that I’d whispered across the hallway in the wee hours of the morning. Fuck’s sake.

Still, while I may be incompetent when it comes to soliciting a ‘yes’, I’m extremely good at taking a ‘no’, and no matter how horny and frustrated I am, I do still welcome it when men say ‘no’ to me. I’d been explaining to this exact guy the night before that one of the reasons I’m not yet confident enough to hit him with my Best GOTN Seduction Moves™ is that I haven’t known him long enough to really understand his limits. By which I mean, he has not yet said ‘no’ to me very often. I like hearing ‘no’s because they help me to understand someone’s boundaries and moods a little better, and get a more accurate feel for where their ‘yes’s might be. I am – as I have mentioned before – absolutely terrified of men putting me on a pedestal and then just doing whatever they think they have to in order to keep me happy, so hearing the odd ‘no’ helps me relax.

Nevertheless, it’s still 5 am and I’m still raging horny. So I pull out my Ambit and my Zumio, have a massive wank and think no more about it.

Did you guess the ending here? Because I totally did not. Twenty minutes after I’d finished wanking, I hear the door to the spare bedroom creak open, and a gentle tap at my own.

“Changed my mind. Can I still come in?”

We spent the next hour or so till wake-up time browsing through his favourite porn and casually mauling his cock.

Way to go past-me! You were right! As long as you’re ready to accept a ‘no’ with good grace, it usually doesn’t hurt to ask. And sometimes an ask pays off in unlikely scenarios. Even if it’s 5am and you’re too sleep-deprived to attempt a proper chat-up, but you’re horny for dick nonetheless, sometimes fortune favours the cheeky fucker.