In ‘good things’ this week – an exceptional piece on BDSM and understanding the context of your own desires. And in the ‘bad things’ column, a competition from The Sun that unfairly discriminates against men.
Good thing: Feminista Jones – “Yes, Master”
If you’re not already following Feminista Jones on Twitter then you’re missing out – she’s insightful, funny, and a spectacular writer. This week she wrote a personal exploration of her journey into BDSM, as a black American woman. It’s spectacular. Here’s an excerpt:
“I’m a black American woman, and I identify as a “slave.”
“Yes, the word is fraught with shameful history, but it has another meaning—one that’s sexual and freeing, rather than oppressive and controlling. As a longtime practitioner of BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance and submission), I see slaves as people who willingly surrender control to their partner or “master.” As a descendant of African-Americans who were legally enslaved for centuries, however, the word also conjures up violent images of my ancestors’ pain and suffering.”
…but you seriously need to read the full article. Also note the gorgeous animated (nsfw) illustrations that go with it.
Bad thing: a cleavage competition that men can’t win
I was shocked and appalled (read: not in any way shocked) last week to see The Sun’s “Bust in Britain” competition, calling for people’s best cleavage shots.
Despite some rather exceptional entries from men across the country, at the time of writing the only entries shown on The Sun’s website belong to women.
*deeply shocked and appalled face*
For what it’s worth, this was my favourite entry because I bet at least a hundred people immediately did what I did, and picked up the nearest bra to see how it fits on their own bum.
Is this the kind of thing you are looking for @TheSun ? pic.twitter.com/a7fri5dHKA
— Martin Kayes (@mkayes) March 30, 2016
BONUS: Get your Eroticon ticket
Sad news: there will be no Eroticon next year. So it’s doubly important that you grab a ticket for this year’s Eroticon if you want to come and meet other erotic writers, sex bloggers, and generally brilliant people. If you’re a company, you need to sponsor this event because there probably won’t be another like it for 2 years.
Not sure what Eroticon is? See my Eroticon 2015 run-down. Want to get a ticket? Buy one here.
3 Comments
That Feminista Jones article was lovely. Coincidentally I read a very similar article recently, although the author of this one describes how she’s never been able to accept the terms ‘master’ and ‘slave’ because of the issues they provoke: http://fusion.net/story/281403/bdsm-while-black/
I’ve previously noticed the overwhelming whiteness of the BDSM community, but I’d never put much thought into it and considered there are perfectly good reasons why black people might not feel comfortable getting involved with it. It’s tragic that anyone should feel unable to fully embrace their sexuality because of issues in their past or ancestry; perhaps the least the rest of us can do is try to be aware of such sensitivities.
That’s a really interesting piece, also hilarious (no dick’s good enough to risk being haunted by Harriet Tubman <3<3). Thank you for posting!
mollena williams is also really good and insightful on being a black slave to a white master, if you weren’t already aware of her – https://www.facebook.com/mollena