Girl on the Net

For a writer, I have painfully little imagination. Sometimes things pop into my head – filthy scenarios or interesting characters, or an unusual image that relates to a twist in a story I just can’t quite plot. One day I’d like to be better at writing fiction – to write a book in which the stories are ones I’ve invented rather than lived.

I have a lot of respect for good erotica writers – to me there’s something magic about being able to invent not just hot scenes you’ve never played in before, but hot characters you’ve never met in real life. Before I fall cunt-over-heels in lust with someone, I’d have little idea exactly what it is I’m looking for: good hair? Nice eyes? A dirty grin? Could be any of those sexy things. But as soon as I’ve met them? Ah, then I can write you sonnet after sonnet about the turn of his head, his slim wrist strapped with a thick black watch, or the dents at his hipbones when he strips off his pants. Those things hit me like a bucket of hot water – of course that’s what I fancy. Obviously that’s what’s hot. How could I never have dreamt of this particular horny quirk?

But without that stimulation I’m bereft.

It’s something I’m going to start working on, because – well – there are some things I can’t explore in real life, but that I really want to explore in my head. Gang bangs and cool fetishes and nights spent at the mercy of a crop-wielding drill sergeant. But in the meantime, there’s are plenty of other awesome writers who write beautiful, sexy things.

Erotic World Book Day (EWBD)

What’s Erotic World Book Day? Well, it’s basically like World Book Day, in that it’s designed to get people reading more cool stuff. Except in this instance it’s specifically aimed at smut, and the myriad sub-categories of horny writing that fall under that umbrella. The writers who have organised it (I’m not one of them, I’m just a fan of the idea so I wanted to chat about it) have a FB page, and a group which will be running giveaways and all that good stuff on Erotic World Book Day (5th March), all while raising money for Brook.

Why words are awesome

Here’s a confession: I feel like words do more than pictures – for me, at least. Not that there isn’t joy in video porn, or sexy images. I watch and look at a lot of porn – sometimes to get off, sometimes for work, sometimes out of a sighing appreciation of the beauty/crush on a specific porn performer. Often a combination of all the above.

But while visual porn does have the ability to turn me on, it’s far less frequently the cause of those specific gut-punches of lust that I get when something sexy has taken me by surprise. A particularly hot description, a character growling the perfect dirty word combo, that kind of thing.

Conversely, while a porn film that doesn’t hit my happy spots can at best elicit a ‘meh’, I feel an almost physical sadness if words hit upon something that turns me off. A ‘love cave’ in the middle of something otherwise amazing. A ‘special place’ where I want to read a ‘cunt.’ It’s really fucking hard to be a writer, and I think it’s especially hard to be a sex writer – ever walking that delicate tightrope between sexy and strange.

Perhaps one day I’ll write some fiction, and fuck dudes I’d never hope to fuck, in ways I’ve never truly fucked them. But until then I’m glad there are other people. While I might be able to turn a quick-and-dirty fuck into a thousand words of wank-fodder, there are talented writers who manage to tap into the hotness that is born of imagination.

And that – like any skill that I don’t have myself – is sexy as all hell.

You can celebrate Erotic World Book Day by joining the Facebook event and checking out the anthology that will be published on the day. And if you’re sad that you got to the end of this blog without spotting a shameless plug, I can tell you that my book’s been reduced in celebration of the day, so you can now pick it up for super cheap. I’ll donate £30 to Brook too, because I have no way of knowing how many books are sold on a specific day, so I can’t do a percentage, but I like the idea of smut that raises money.