It shouldn’t need saying, and I hate having to say it, but needs must: what we do is good, actually. By ‘we’ I mean sex bloggers, erotic photographers, independent pornographers, and anyone who falls under the broad umbrella of ‘sexy content creator’. In light of the devastating news that after fourteen years of running the gorgeous, body-positive, empowering Sinful Sunday project, Molly is shutting it down, I wanted to take a second to celebrate what she (and the amazing contributors) do for us. And highlight the fact that in a world which is getting more hostile to independent creators in the sex space, it’s more important than ever to remind everyone that what we do is not immoral. It is not wrong or perverted or sick or worthy of being expunged from the internet. Sex and masturbation is a healthy part of most adult lives, and creating media that inspires and celebrates pleasure is not just acceptable, it is valuable. What we do is good, actually.
Let’s start with Sinful Sunday. If you’re not familiar with it, this project has been running every week since April 2011 (since before I even started blogging!) and it provides a space for sex bloggers and photographers to share images of themselves and others, often with set themes (check out the photos for the theme ‘good morning’ from the start of this year – they’re stunning!). The project is a fun, playful celebration of a range of body types, countering the narratives that we see elsewhere in life that tell us ‘sexy’ is reserved for a very narrow subset of people. We can all tell this is bollocks, but Sinful Sunday showed us – with stunning images from creative people who were willing to strip off and share their hotness with the rest of us.
On top of this, Sinful Sunday helped new bloggers (and old) find community. Getting more traffic to their own blogs, meeting people who would become friends and collaborators, and developing creative skills so that the next picture they took would be even better than the last. Molly’s regular prompts would give photographers side quests – often vital for keeping inspiration flowing – and she also gave space to those of us (like me) who aren’t visually inclined but like to admire, by offering us the chance to join in and write image round-ups.
I am so grateful to Molly for running this project for so long, and so grateful to all of the people who have joined in with it over the last 14 years. Your work is beautiful and inspiring. It deserves to be celebrated.
If you would like to join in with the very last Sinful Sunday, the link-up will happen on April 20th. Instructions on how to do that can be found in this blog post. I’m going to have a go at taking a picture to add for this final one, or if I fail (which is possible – my confidence with this sort of thing waxes and wanes) I’ll try and dig out a hot picture I’ve taken in the past but never shared, so I can join in and say goodbye to this amazing project. Let’s give it a good send-off, shall we?
The image for this post was the very first one I ever published for Sinful Sunday. I know it’s not amazing (though the location absolutely is – it was taken in the hot tub of the Lucy Suite at the Bermondsey Square Hotel, during an outrageously sexy evening with an ex partner. Although the image isn’t a patch on what the talented photographers who regularly participate in Sinful Sunday submit, I was extremely proud of myself for summoning the courage to publish something and join in. I would never – could never – have done that if Molly hadn’t worked so hard to build a supportive and welcoming community. The world will be poorer without it.
What we do is good, actually
There are a few reasons why Molly has taken the difficult decision to shut down Sinful Sunday, and I want to highlight two of them here. These are problems that affect many adult creators, and if you care about the content that sexy people like Molly produce, now’s the time to start paying attention.
First thing’s first: publishing adult content (of any kind) is hard and getting harder. The internet – which used to be this open space where people mostly hosted content on their own websites – is increasingly being divided into walled gardens. Where people might have published pictures of themselves on a blog, now they use Instagram. Where they’d write stories, now they use Medium. Where they’d have opinions, now they use… OK no one’s still using X, right? But BlueSky perhaps. The problem with so many people setting up home in these walled gardens is that they’re all at the mercy of whoever owns the garden, and can therefore make the rules. Usually what happens with these kinds of services is they’re relatively open to sex content in the beginning: porn is no problem, because the more compelling content people post, the larger user base these platforms can generate, and therefore the more successful they appear to investors
Then, when the platform gets popular, they start implementing rules to ‘crack down’ on adult content, as if what we were doing was actually very naughty all along – tut tut, dirty fuckers, you shouldn’t have been getting your bums out in the first place!
More on this in ErosBlog’s exceptional post on the pornocalypse: “companies and platforms have life cycles, and there seems inevitably to come a time in all of them where porn that was formerly welcome (often, porn that played a fundamental role in building the popularity of the platform) will get kicked to the curb or shoved behind a sleazy curtain at the back of the store.”
I find it especially chilling that so often the reason cited for restricting adult content is ‘safety’. Usually you’ll find the rules on porn right next to the rules on graphic violence, as if the two are comparable, and comparably harmful. Why is it dangerous for consenting adults to share in the joy that sex brings us? Do we really want to live in a world where sexual expression is seen as dangerous by default?
What we do is good, actually.
Photographs of naked bodies are good, actually
Another key reason Molly is ending Sinful Sunday is because of the UK’s Online Safety Act. This terrible piece of legislation came into force earlier this year, and already the consequences are being felt – predominantly, of course, by small independent websites. The Act aims to do a number of things, one of which involves ‘protecting’ children from the harms of online pornography. Laying aside the fact that… well… pornography is not inherently harmful, I agree that we probably don’t want children seeing it. However, the ‘solution’ the Online Safety Act demands is that any site which serves ‘pornography’ implement a system of ‘robust age verification.’
These systems are complex to implement and can be extremely expensive. I got a quote from an AV company when researching this piece for SexTechGuide, just to find out how much it might cost me to age verify every user from the UK. Given the number of monthly visitors I have, the estimated cost of age verifying all users in one month was more than my entire business (including all contracted/freelance work, Patreon subs, affiliate income and sponsorship) makes in three. It’s not a workable solution, even for someone like me who (tries, and fails) to make a living from this. For a project like Molly’s Sinful Sunday, which is run out of love and makes no direct profit, age verification of this kind is pie in the sky.
There are potentially other options, one of which is explained in detail here by heroic campaigner and queer pornographer Blake – they are implementing an open-source age verification solution for their adult website Dreams of Spanking. Self-hosting age verification software is no small thing, and no mean feat. If you would like to support them, please do chip in over on Patreon – they are pioneering a way that sites like mine might in future be able to comply with the OSA without doing what I’ve had to do in the short term (break accessibility features).
This solution is incredible for those of us who might be able to invest money in technical expertise to implement it, though sadly that precludes most small sex blogs and other adult websites like many of the ones that participate in Sinful Sunday. Is Sinful Sunday actually ‘pornography’? Hard to say. There’s certainly a lot of (glorious, joyful, beautiful) nudity. And because it’s photographic, it is likely still in scope of the Online Safety Act, with all the onerous restrictions that entails. Ofcom is refusing to be drawn right now on what their enforcement priorities will be, and their advice to small independent sites is incredibly vague – check out this post from the owner of the small LGBTQ+ Mastodon instance woof.group to get a feel for how ludicrous and challenging it is to get straight answers on whether they’re in scope.
If Sinful Sunday were to continue, Molly wouldn’t be able to afford to age verify people to check they’re adults before showing the images, so instead she would simply have to block all UK users from being able to view them. That means this body-positive community project which originated in the UK and gets participation from a number of UK-based bloggers would be effectively gutted. Molly is not the only sex blogger to consider blocking UK traffic – personally I’ve already (with great regret and intense rage) made changes to my own website so that no one browsing from a UK IP address can hear the audio.
Entirely unrelated fact that I just feel it’s important to state: at the time of writing, major tube sites like Xhamster, Pornhub, Redtube and others all seem to be working as usual.
Oh! And having drafted this blog post a few days ago, the morning of the day of publication I spotted news that the UK Government is currently planning to substantially water down the Online Safety Act’s rules as they apply to big tech companies. Couldn’t possibly have the large players subject to the same rules that are causing small independent UK businesses and communities to shut down!
SEX IS GOOD, ACTUALLY
Again, to reiterate: what we do is good, actually. It isn’t dirty or dangerous or wrong. In fact, if you read some of the arguments made by anti-porn crusaders when they campaign for the introduction of laws like the Online Safety Act (porn is harmful! It’s teaching kids to disrespect women! It’s teaching us that sex is violent! It’s addictive!) you’ll likely agree that there’s a very good case that projects like Molly’s actually help to counteract many of the harmful narratives that we’re fed about sex and bodies: the idea that sex is all about violence, or that it’s something men do ‘to’ women but not with us. The harmful picture mainstream porn (and mainstream media in general) paints that only certain types of body (slim, white, cis, able-bodied) are acceptable while all other bodies should be fetishised but never celebrated… I could go on.
I don’t want to live in a society that treats sexual expression as something ‘other’ – to be shamed and hidden and stamped out, as if it’s criminal. I want to live in a society that acknowledges adults can and often do choose to express themselves via erotic writing, audio, photography, video and that these forms of expression are not just valid, they are valuable.
People who participate in projects like Sinful Sunday often learn new things about themselves, their bodies, their desires. They share their own experiences and inspire other adults to start their own journeys of exploration and discovery. Those who see the images get to enjoy a diverse variety of bodies, in photos that are as unique and creative as the individuals who take them.
And you know what? Even if it hadn’t resulted in a beautiful and empowering collection of gorgeous photographs, the project would still be valuable! Having spaces online where adults can share consensual images to express their sexuality, their bodies, their desires and their beauty… this is a cool and brilliant thing! It’s important for me to state this because I am certain Sinful Sunday won’t be the only erotic creative project that falls in the upcoming months. Already I’ve noticed more and more sex bloggers reducing the amount that they post or sometimes shutting down their blogs altogether. Occasionally this is for personal reasons, sometimes it’s because of laws like the Online Safety Act, often it’s because they realised that making money in the adult industry is too tricky and it wasn’t worth them continuing… whatever. Regardless of whether you enjoy these sites, or personally get turned on by the content, I hope you can agree that they should definitely exist! I want to live in a world where the diversity of human sexual expression is treated with reverence, respect, curiosity and excitement. I love learning about new ways adults share the joy they find in their own bodies, and each other’s. Ensuring that this kind of expression can blossom without being stamped out sounds like a very important part of a functioning human society!
I don’t care if you’re a great photographer or a terrible one, a prolific writer or occasional one: I believe that what you do is good, actually. You’re expressing your sexual desire, showing other consenting adults the shape of your fantasies, your body, your beliefs, your needs… and that’s awesome. Far from being shameful or worth hiding, I think it’s worth celebrating.
Sex is not something to be silo’d off into a secret, dark corner. It is a valuable part of the human experience, and it deserves to be treated in the same way we treat other important aspects of our lives. We talk about it, post photos of it, discuss ways to do it better and tell stories of how we’ve done it in the past. Some of us will opt out, others will make it a core part of our lives. We dream about it, fantasise about it, look curiously over at others who are doing it differently to us.
I am gutted to see the end of Sinful Sunday, and I do hope that those of you who are visually inclined will consider taking a picture for the final week – link submission opens on April 20th – to give a decent send-off to this incredible project.
Sinful Sunday is and was profoundly fucking good. It was good for those who took part and good for those who visited the site and admired the creativity and beauty shown there. And beyond this, it was good for the world because creating media that inspires and celebrates sex is not just acceptable: it is valuable. I think sexual expression is vital for a functioning society.
What we do is good, actually.
2 Comments
I couldn’t agree more! As someone who not only enjoyed Molly’s blog, but also posted in the ‘good morning’ theme, I’m gutted that it’s come to an end. I’ve also decided to close my blog down, as I’m UK based. Sadly I’ve noticed a lot of my weekly sex blog reads are disappearing at an alarming rate, all while, as you said, the big hitters are still operating as usual. I used to enjoy the creativity, planning, shooting, editing and sharing my pictures, not to mention the fabulous encouraging compliments I received. For it to be taken away like this is frustrating, annoying and such an absolute shame. I’m glad to see you’re still here!
There is something profoundly rotten behind this unending, monotonous inquisition against the sexual and any kind of free discussion, ideas, thinking or art that is even adjacent to the erotic. That same rot lies behind the anti-trans and anti-queer ideologies. It is the same rot that lies behind conservative, religious zealotry that condemns all forms of sexual liberation.
This isn’t about CSAM because these efforts do nothing to tackle that very real and serious problem. (It is because CSAM is abuse of children that is damnable, as is all abuse of all human beings – the ‘S’ could be omitted and the acronym would remain worthy of condemnation!) This isn’t about easy-access to cheap pornography because these efforts don’t touch the big ‘tube sites. This isn’t about the often unpalatable and exploitative themes that prevail in the worst corners of those, either. This is not a push for a more ethical porn industry.
I don’t even think that the frothing-loony pro-natalist ideologies adequately explain this prudishness, however popular those views might be amongst certain political cliques.
I am starting to think these Victorian ideals are merely part of some absolute conviction that free ideas must be stopped, universally, lest the populace acquire a habit of thinking ideas too freely.
Those in power (to whom the rules do not apply, anyway) are sufficiently one-dimensional enough to believe that the last barricade preventing the people from questioning whether that power is just or warranted – and perhaps deciding that it isn’t – really is the prevention of asking questions at all.
Do the pigs in the farm house really *care* whether trans kids compete in athletic competitions or in which closed cubicles a trans woman urinates? Do they really *care* whether writers pen erotica and post pictures of their genitals online, on occasion? I just cannot accept that they do. Their rules do not apply to them – they can get away with whatever they choose, as history tells us.
They only care because we’re discussing erotic art and art conveys ideas and is a catalyst for thinking: changing one’s mind.
They truly care about what they fear: a people who learns to think by practicing thinking, beginning with thoughts like “maybe these conservative, prudish, puritanical, Victorian qualms are incongruent with the way my (or our) bodies actually *are*, respond, and feel like, to live in, and we should live in and according to our bodies, instead of blindly obeying a school of ethics forced upon us?”
Maybe, my body is mine and it tells me what sex is, to me, and I get to decide whether I masturbate, am attracted to one sex or the other, am monogamous or asexual or poly-amorous or any other variation. Maybe – just maybe – it isn’t about the rule of rich white men.
What sex bloggers and erotic photographers and artists of all colours do is vitally important because it normalises the idea that sex and sexuality and anatomy and sexual anatomy are all normal. It does the opposite of the conservative upbringing which forces all of the above into a box, just before puberty, never to be seen again excepting for the purposes of conceiving future tax-payers, contributors to pension funds and customers of pharmaceuticals.
But it is *also* vitally important simply because it is art: it is the embodiment of some modicum of intentionality by an artist and that means that it conveys ideas to the viewer or reader, even if those ideas might stem from the artists unconscious. (Also: I think that erotic matters are a realm in which flesh-and-blood, human artists can and will retain a much more well-defined* edge over “generative A.I. ‘art’-like botshit” simply because, no matter how much stolen training data it ingests, no content-extrusion machine has or ever will live in a physical body with its unique lusts and foibles and sensations and sometimes funny behaviours.)
Art is ideas. Ideas are thoughts. Practicing free thought is vital: one day, it might lead people to ask the questions that progress this world. Just because erotic art might stiffen one’s penis or moisten one’s labia (to be as crude as I can be, for effect) does *not* make it any less worthy as a catalyst for learning to think, sometimes to think against the current of the establishment.
(*: in time, I think that most people will quickly learn that *all* “A.I. ‘art'” is flaccid and empty and learn to recognise when there is no “there,” there, and reject the botshit but I do think that the contrast will be starker and easier to spot for erotic matter.)