Girl on the Net

I don’t think doggy is the best position for anal, but that’s probably because I’m not especially visual. I get why someone might enjoy the whole ‘you look down and watch it go in’ thing, it just isn’t my favourite part. In porn, I am broadly turned off by extreme genital close-ups, preferring instead to watch the twisted, horny joy on someone’s face as they slam it home. I get why many people would like the view you get when pegging in doggy, though, and there are definitely other delights too, like the way you can grab someone’s hips and pull them back onto your dick while you’re pounding away. But today I want to talk about some of my favourite alternative pegging positions.

Before we start, a brief intro. While I’m fairly sure most people who read this blog will know what ‘pegging‘ means, I’m sure there are a few who haven’t come across it yet, so let’s define: pegging is fucking someone in the ass with a strap-on. That’s the basic info, but it’s worth adding that it is usually used to refer to anal strap-on sex in a guy/girl couple, where she straps it on and he takes it like a very good boy. There are layers of complexity, though.

I can no longer write about pegging without feeling the need to link to this fabulous essay by Quinn Rhodes on the potential problems with the term. The term ‘pegging’ is very cisnormative, and heteronormative, as it is mainly used to refer to a straight woman pegging her male partner, under the assumption that both are cisgender. Using the cishet-implying term ‘pegging’ as a broad catch-all for ‘anal sex with a strap-on’ means many people’s experiences are erased. As Quinn explains:

“I’m a person with a vulva and tits, and I often have sex where I penetrate people with penises with my strap-on. To describe me anally topping my partners as ‘pegging’ diminishes the fact that I am a man and that my dildo is as much my dick as a factory-installed penis would be.”

Bear this in mind when I talk through these things – my focus here (as everywhere, really) is fairly cishet, because I am both cis and het, and most of the guys I’ve been with have been too. So for me, the cishet origins and implications of the term hold true, even if they’re wildly unhelpful when we’re talking about the whole of humanity. As ever, if you’d like to provide a perspective that isn’t as relentlessly, tediously straight as mine, please do pitch me a guest blog.

But in the meantime, I’m going to be talking about pegging as I’ve experienced it, i.e. with cishet dudes, because I think a lot of the hotness of it (for me and the dudes I’ve done it with) has been about role-reversal, and I can only really articulate that within my context. To be blunt: usually he’s the one railing and I’m the one being railed. He’s giving, I’m receiving. He pounds, I am pounded.

And switching that up is what makes pegging fun. That might not be true for you, but it’s definitely true for me. And for me, different pegging positions allow me to appreciate that switch from a variety of angles.

3 pegging positions that aren’t doggy

Legs up and back

This position – the one in the illustration above – involves him spreading his legs and pulling his knees up to his chest. The same position I’d use if I was getting fucked, and wanted the person to get inside me nice and good and deep. If he’s flexible, he might want to do what I’d do and fold his legs all the way back, gripping the bars of the headboard of the bed with his toes so his torso is framed by thighs and calves. If he’s less flexible, knees up will do just fine – maybe he’ll use his hands to grip his ankles and keep his legs apart so we can make eye contact.

With this pegging position, eye contact is the reward. If I’m sliding my dick into someone, I wanna see the look in their eyes. I’ve spoken to partners before about the delights of this exact thing – the moment when their cock plunges fully into my cunt, and that little wide-eyed gasp I might let out if it hits my cervix when it gets there.

I know that when I’m pegging someone in the ass, the cervix thing is moot, but the wide-eyed gasp still happens, and it’s an astonishingly hot thing. There might be a bit of fumbling at the moment of penetration, when I press the tip of my cock against his ass and hold it there with a lubed-up hand, nudging gently at the tight hole then adjusting angle as the tip slips in. I might have to look down for that part, flicking my gaze back-and-forth between his twitching ass and his twitching lips to see if this is pleasure (please more) or pain (please – slowly). But once the tip is in, and has pushed past that tight ring of muscle, I can relax and tell him to do the same – looking into his eyes and drinking in the sight of his face as he takes – slowly – every single inch of what I’m fucking him with.

Him on top

I absolutely love pegging guys when they’re on top. And I’ve probably phrased that sentence appallingly in terms of action, because one of the things I enjoy is the passivity of lying back and watching a guy spear himself on me. From a practical perspective, it allows him to control the angle and depth of penetration so he doesn’t take too much too quickly – meaning I can take mental note on what his preferences are with regard to each of these things.

But fuck it, fucking’s rarely about the ‘practical perspective’, right? The key reason I love this is because it makes me feel utterly powerful. Many of the guys I’ve shagged have shared the notion that being the penetrator – the one who does the fucking – is the most powerful thing. That the act of slamming your hips back and forth into someone who is lying beneath you, squirming and moaning and loving it, is what denotes power. And yet, when I’m pegging someone, I feel at my most powerful when I lie back, like a queen, and instruct them to bounce up and down on my strap-on dick.

Long long ago, when I was fairly new to pegging, I asked a guy to do this – mainly for educational purposes initially: I wanted to get a feel for how he’d guide the speed and rhythm. But once he was up there, riding me with his face turned up towards the ceiling and twisted into that deliciously pained look of ecstasy that comes when someone’s discovered a brand new filthy joy, I was suddenly hit by a newfound appreciation for what it had looked like on previous nights of shagging when I rode the fuck out of him.

Spooning

Sorry for jumping back to practicalities again: they may not be the main thing, but they definitely are a thing, and the truth is that taking something in the ass isn’t always easy. Especially if it’s your first time getting pegged, or if you’re jumping from a smaller dildo to a larger one. In these cases I’m a big fan of spooning, where the person getting fucked lies on their side with their knees up to their chest, and the person strapping it on and fucking them lies behind them like the big spoon. This also works for me if I’m getting fucked in the ass by someone who has quite a big cock.

At the same time, it also means you can flip another of the sex scripts that we straight people have been taught to work from: that the guy – the comforter and protector – should always be the big spoon. Fuck that. I’ve not known a single man who doesn’t appreciate being the little spoon sometimes too. Cuddles where I wrap my arms around him and draw him close to me often results in the loveliest ‘I’m so comfy’ satisfied sighs, and shagging like that results in lovely ‘I’m so full’ fuckmoans as well. Perhaps this has something to do with the kind of men I go for, but pegging positions that let guys lean in to their desire to feel small and vulnerable and protected do seem to go down quite well.

What’s more, when someone is lying on their side in front of you, there’s a lot more potential for grabbing and touching them – you don’t need to use your hands to stay upright and make sure you don’t flump down on top of them, so you can use them to do fun things like squeeze their chest and stomach good and tight in your grasp, making them feel even smaller and more at your mercy. You can stroke their hair, place a hand (gently) around their throat, or reach round and grip the head of their cock in a lubed-up fist so they don’t know whether to push back onto your strap-on or forward into the tight wetness of your grip.

Pegging positions: doggy versus other

If it seems weird and arbitrary for me to pit ‘doggy’ against other positions, that might just be because the media I’ve tended to consume has put doggy front-and-centre when it comes to most anal sex: pegging included. But that’s not to say doggy doesn’t have its charms: pegging someone who is bent over, and threading a belt around their hips so you can grab at each end like it’s reins you’re using to control them? That’s pretty hot. And then there’s the joy of feeling yourself smack against their arse as you fuck them – if you get it right, you can enjoy a delicious rhythmic smacking sound that implies each stroke is a punishment. And naturally, of course, if you have well-positioned bedroom mirrors, angling them so you can watch their face as they get fucked is also a treat.

As you can probably tell from its meandering and waffly nature, this isn’t one of those blog posts that was inspired by a specific hot story. I’ve just had ‘pegging positions that aren’t doggy’ jotted down in my ideas bank for ages, then when pegging came up as the latest Kink of the Week topic it felt like the right time to write something. But although it wasn’t prompted by a specific story, there is something I wanna tell you, and that’s the time I felt most like a sex goddess.

I don’t often feel like a sex goddess. Although apparently people think – because of the blog – that I am good in bed, in fact I am just a flailing incompetent most of the time. But one time… one hot night… all the stars aligned and a guy asked me to peg him with a really specific cock. It wasn’t just about the sexiness of him face-down-ass-up in front of me, the gorgeous curves of his back arched to as acute an angle as he could muster, nor about the eagerness with which he took a not insignificant strap-on… it was about the sheer endurance of this guy who wanted me to fuck him. And fuck him. And fuck him.

Gripping his hips, yanking him back onto me, changing rhythm from fast to slow and back again so I could eke out my stamina, and checking up on him in the only way I know how when I’m in dominant mode (“D’you like that? You want more? Yeah? Tell me how much you want it you fucking slut.”).

Although I’m a fan of pegging positions that aren’t doggy, doggy does sometimes deliver in spades. Because at the point we stopped, and I went to gently extract my lubed-up cock from his aching ass, I caught a glimpse of myself in his bedroom mirror: on my knees, towering over his submissive form, hair plastered to the sides of my face, torso drenched in gallons of fucksweat, shining like an absolute goddess.

As I said at the start, part of the joy of pegging for me is the switchiness of it: I like to experience sex from what I’ll loosely call ‘his’ perspective. On that particular night, I felt like I gained a new understanding – not just of what I might look like to him when I’m face-down-ass-up and speared on his cock, but what he might feel like inside after exerting himself so thoroughly on my cunt or ass. Not just what it was like in his position, but what it felt like inside his mind.

And while it’s good to get nice and deep in someone’s ass, it’s even hotter to get inside his head.

Wanna read more about pegging? Click the lips below to see who else is joining in with Kink of the Week. And if you want to try out pegging, there are some recommendations for strap-on harnesses and dildos over on the sex toys page.