Girl on the Net

It’s that time of year again! February! The bit just before the 14th when everyone’s telling you to buy sex toys. Instead of just telling you to buy stuff, I am going to share with you some horny ideas for Valentine’s Day, then tell you that if you like those ideas you’re welcome to reward me by giving me good girl points clicking the links and buying cool things from the companies which sponsor this website. There are some amazing companies on the list (porn! Audio porn! Sex toys!), and my horny ideas are all ones you and a partner (or two, or three, or four) can put into practice with (I hope) relatively little effort, and either low cost (all but one are less than £50) or completely free. Don’t say I never treat you right. And even if you’re not in the market to buy, I hope you’ll enjoy these mini porn stories anyway. I had a super horny time writing them.

Horny Valentine’s Day ideas: Clit-tease

She’s strapped down to the bed by the wrists and ankles. It’s a struggle to move in any direction but with a bit of effort she can arch her back and fuck her hips upwards – pleading with her body for a touch that’s more than ‘gentle.’

But this is a tease, so she doesn’t get that. He wets the tip of his finger and places it directly on the head of her clit – applying pinpoint precision before stroking in oh-so-slow and frustrating circles. From behind the gag, she whimpers. He’d promised her that this Valentine’s Day she could come on his fingers, but he’d also promised that he’d make her work for it. That’s the swap, see? For some reason she feels guilty when someone buys her gifts, so he’s working to get her so ready for this one that she’ll receive it in grateful spirit, rather than worry that he’s spent too much on treating her.

It takes less than ten minutes of this measured, gentle stroking before she’s begging for more. As much as one can be said to ‘beg’ when all one can do is squeal into a ball gag and hump against his hand.

It’s time, though: she’s eager for it. He reaches to one side and grabs the pre-charged finger vibe. Slips it onto his middle finger and turns it on. At the sound of the rumble, she bites down and starts to wriggle again – feeling every tingle of it as he traces painstakingly gentle paths from her inner thighs and towards her labia. He knows the right spot, but now pretends he doesn’t – pressing the vibe delicately against the folds of her cunt, the ridges just beside her clit… even at one point dipping a finger gently inside her aching hole. Her squirming starts to build into thrashing and writhing as her hips seek out that vibe, desperate to feel the release of an orgasm. But every time she fucks towards it, he moves it away – infinitesimal distances that nevertheless feel like infinitely impossible ones.

Eventually, he straddles her stomach and looks down into her face – it’s one of absolute fury. Lust, need, desire and pure rage. With a quick flick of his left hand, he removes her gag, then reaches behind him with that still-buzzing finger vibe, once again tracing it in a leisurely path along her slit and towards where her clit is throbbing for contact. Grinning like a wolf, he asks her:

“Now do you want a present?”

There are people in the next town over who can hear her yelling ‘PLEASE!’

At which point he gives her what she wants: holding the vibe to her clit and letting her hump up to meet it, crushing herself hard against the thrum of the bullet while her juices coat his fingertips and her moans of relief shake the walls. He doesn’t move at this point, just holds it still, having too much fun watching her desperately fuck against it like she’s a dog humping his leg.

Three or four seconds before the first waves of her orgasm crash, he takes it away.

“No!” She barks, like she has any say over the matter.

“Yes,” he tells her, deftly switching out the finger vibe for something different – something more challenging. He turns around so he’s now facing down her body, all the better to see what he’s doing. Now instead of the vibe on his middle finger, he’s wearing two silicone pads on his first two fingertips. Pads that are attached to a unit that delivers a subtle-but-fascinating trickle of electric current. She’s enjoyed it before, but will she go for it in this state? In this thrashing, angry moment when she only wants to come? Let’s see…

He covers them in electro gel, all the better to conduct those magic tingles, and then starts to trace his fingers once again up and down the slit of her vulva. Putting plenty of pressure on them, so the sensation is gentle and deep, he slides both fingers either side of her clit and she moans again. Placated slightly by the fact that even if the vibe’s gone, there’s pressure on her clit and she can be grateful for that. Then she starts to feel the gentle pulsing thrum of electricity…

It’s not painful, but it’s unusual. Like her nerve endings are waking up and communicating with each other. He presses firmly either side of her clit and it’s like the pulses are flicking back and forth through the flesh of it. She’s still pushing herself against it, like there’s more pleasure she can wring from his fingertips if only she finds the right angle.

The sensation is subtler than the vibe, but it does something truly different. The bullet will give her a powerful orgasm with friction, but this seems to be stimulating her from the inside. Touching receptors on the outside of her skin, but really plucking strings that sit deep beneath the surface. A throbbing whomp, like the bass on a passing car stereo. A resonant chime, like church bells in the distance on Sunday morning.

The rumble of tectonic plates shifting out to sea, kicking up a wave that will soon become a tsunami…

“Can you do it?” he asks her. “Can you come for me?”

She’s lost her words, so just moans “hnnnngh,” jolting harder as her hips try to find the perfect angle for those busy fingertips.

“Hnnnng” she says again, and loses all control.

And that’s when he turns the power up…

Get the kit

Hot Octopuss DiGiT finger vibe: usually £59.95/$69.95, but you get 25% off if you use the current code VAL25

This gorgeous yellow ball gag from Meo: usually $42.83, currently a whopping 50% off.

This fabulous hemp rope from The Pleasure Garden, or this velcro-fastening restraint kit if you (like me) aren’t into knots: get 10% off either of these (or anything else on site) with the code GOTN10

ElectraStim is where you get all the coolest e-stim toys – the ones mentioned here are the Explorer Finger Pads (£39), but you get 10% off with the code GOTN. If you don’t already have a stim pack, the Kix which delivers the electricity is £69. Also 10% off with the code GOTN.

Horny Valentine’s Day ideas: Using him

Ever since she told him she had something filthy planned for Valentine’s Day, he’s been pestering her all week with excited chatter, interrupting her working days with horn and second-guessing what the plan is. Will he be pegged? Stripped and whipped? Will she let him sit at her feet with his head on her naked thighs while she strokes his hair and lists all the reasons he’s a very good boy?

One text too many causes her to reply curtly:

OK that’s it. You’re doing too much requesting and not enough shutting the fuck up. So this Valentine’s Day you’re going to shut the fuck up. Arrive at mine at 7pm wearing the tight blue jeans and that metal butt plug, and when I open the door you’re not to say a single fucking word. Understand?

He texts back a meek:

Yes miss.

…to show he’s listening, then a winky face emoji to show he understands that she’s not really angry (she is not).

He arrives on the dot of 7pm, dressed exactly as instructed. She greets him with a stern face and a finger on her lips to remind him – sssssh. Then grabs him by the waistband of those lovely tight blue jeans and hauls him inside the flat. Slams the door behind him and points upstairs.

“Bedroom. Now. Jeans on, lie on the bed facing the ceiling. Hands behind your head.”

He scurries up there like she’s hidden the Holy Grail under the bedsheets, and by the time she arrives he’s lying exactly as instructed – face-up, hands behind his head, compliant and still and eager. As a bonus, his cock is starting to swell inside those jeans – fat and hard and tempting. She wonders if she can get it pressed so tightly that when she finally sets it free she’ll see the faint grain of denim imprinted onto his flesh.

First thing’s first: a blindfold. He makes a sort of plaintive mewl in the back of his throat to denote disappointment: he loves to watch. That she’s instructed him to wear his butt plug means she’ll probably ride him, and he loves to watch her tits bounce while she does that. Craves seeing the expression on her face – sometimes abandon, sometimes delight, sometimes a deliberate feigned disgust for his sluttery that is more than enough to tip him over the edge himself, pumping shots of cum inside her while she berates him for lack of control.

That’s not what’s happening today, though: the blindfold is on. She adds a pair of headphones too, hooked up to her phone. Before she starts playing the track, though, she leans in close to him to let him know what he’s in for:

“I had so many plans for today,” she teases. “But you got overexcited and spoiled them – you don’t get to dictate anything, even on Valentine’s Day. So I’m doing this to remind you who’s in charge. Today you won’t be pleasured, you’ll be used.”

Another whimper, and a squirm. He opens his mouth as if he’s about to say something but she presses his lips firmly closed with her fingertips. And with that she begins.

Hitting ‘play’ on the audio porn that’s lined up on her phone, she can see his dick twitch as he realises what it is. He’d been expecting music, as per usual, but the idea of being told a filthy story while he’s used is clearly getting him going. Allowing herself a little treat, she flicks open the first button on his jeans, slowly unzips them, and lets his cock spring free.

This isn’t a treat for him, though, so after indulging herself in a brief (tight, very tight) squeeze of the shaft, she reaches for condoms in the drawer and puts on one of the thick ones she saves for just this purpose: Extra Safe. Or, as she calls them, Extra Subby. She uses them on men like him: men who don’t deserve to come.

Now that he’s suitably attired, she slides a silicone grind ring around the base of his cock, slips her knickers down and climbs aboard. As she rides him, the metal butt plug nestled firmly inside him will keep up the pressure on his prostate, and the texture on the grind ring will give her something to rub her clit against at the bottom of each down-stroke. The condoms will keep him from the edge for long enough that she can get what she needs, and the juice from her cunt will gradually seep down into the tight blue denim of his jeans, giving him something to sniff at later when she orders him to kneel in front of her and finish himself off.

Meanwhile the story in his ears will tease him with ideas of all the things he could have won, if he’d only shut the fuck up and remembered who was in charge…

Get the kit

Godemiche grind rings: £39.99 (or equivalent in $), but you can get 10% off them with the code GOTNSHOP.

Doxy metal butt plugs: £42.99 but you can get 15% off (and free shipping, depending on where you are) with the code GOTN15.

Audio porn by BloomStories: get up to 50% off with the code GIRLONTHENET. Alternatively, set up a free account for… well… free, and you’ll have access to a selection of hot sample stories.

Storytime/fuck along/bodyswap

I’m moving out of the third person here and into first because fuck it, this one’s personal. The last few horny Valentine’s Day ideas I’m going to give you are ones that I miss doing in my own life. Because here I’m going to promote some of the awesome sponsors who make (or curate) porn, and I am currently lamenting the fact that I don’t get to play with porn in my own sex life very often these days.

First up: storytime. When I was with my ex, sometimes I’d write blog posts that were specifically tailored to hit cum triggers or kinks that he’d mentioned to me during dirty chat. Lines that had stuck with me, or desires that he’d tentatively articulated that touched on things he enjoyed. It was often a nervewracking thing, writing stuff like this. He’d handed me precious treasure by letting me further into the filthy part of his brain, and if I captured it wrong I might kill the mood or – worse – lock myself forever out of sharing this kink with him. But where there are nerves, there’s horn. Anticipation is far hotter to me if there’s an element of uncertainty. A frisson of ‘maybe’.

So I’d write blog posts, stick them in draft, then the next time we hung out in ‘horny’ mode I’d offer to suck his cock while he read them.

You can do this yourself, you don’t need to be a writer. There’s plenty of source material online. Ask your partner for a few topic ideas – where does their mind wander late at night when they’re touching themselves? – and then hunt down some stories that you think might fit. Threesomes. Spanking. Cuckolding, perhaps? Maybe all you need is a line or two (“I like the idea of being punished until I’m broken – till I’m weeping and begging forgiveness.”), or perhaps you know them well enough (or are brave enough) that you don’t even need a prompt. Go pick a few stories or blog posts that you think might work for them and line them up ready for your partner to read aloud. Get them to read those aloud while you give them head.

While you’re doing it, take note of their response: not just the things you’re doing that make them sigh and catch their breath, but the moments in the text that make them pause. The phrases and words that make their dick twitch or their thighs tremble. Melt into your role as someone who is there to capture feedback. I’ve learned quite a lot about men I’ve loved this way. And this intense, instinctive feedback – delivered via the tone of their voice and the flutters in the muscles of their body – made me love each one all the more.

If you’re more of a visual person – or your partner is – you can do a similar thing with video porn. Show them a scene and sit behind them on the sofa, legs wrapped round their body and one hand reaching down to squeeze, touch and fondle their junk. Maybe you put the other hand round their stomach to hold them tight, or gently around their throat to hold them still. As the scene’s playing, you press your lips against their neck and feel the pounding of their blood as it rushes from their brain to their crotch. Ask questions with your words if you like, and prompt them for answers: “did you like that bit? What was it you liked? Is it the way her nipples look so hard and taut when he wets them with his lips? The way you can see the slight pressure against her cunt as he tries to slip his too-fat cock in? That moment of delicious resistance before the ‘pop’ when it goes in?”

Naturally I’m hoping this first part might lead to the next: fucking along. When you get into the position of the people in the porn and time your strokes so you’re shagging along with them. You don’t even need to be in the same position, to be honest: if you just match pace but in a different position you can mesmerise yourself into something akin to a hypnotic fucktrance – imagining yourself on the screen, but experiencing all the sensations slightly differently in your own body. All the while staring at the screen and watching two people who aren’t you doing what you’re doing. I adore doing this – something about the distance and the difference makes me feel simultaneously connected to the people on screen and even more connected to my partner.

For additional reality, if you have a VR headset you can try this with VR porn – I find the ones that work best are POV scenes. The intimacy of VR porn can be quite shocking at first, and where there’s shock there’s often horn too. Once my ex lined up a scene for me in which I was a (cis, male) guy being sucked off by a hot woman with dark hair and fucked-up mascara. Looking into her eyes as she pleasured me was bizarre and surprisingly enticing. In this make-believe reality I could stare right back at her, abandoning the self-consciousness that I’d have suffered were she really in the room. While the scene played in my headset, and I flicked my eyes around, noting the curve of her arse as she bent over me to her wet eyes staring me down and my huge, thick, rock-solid cock between her lips… he had the same scene playing on the TV. As he licked and sucked at my clit, trying to ape the movements on the screen, I zoned ever-so-briefly into the feeling of what it might be like to have a cock. What it could be like to be him.

The next time I sucked his dick while he read stories, my clit tingled along with the movements of my own lips, and I felt like I’d unlocked something shiny and new. A brand new piece of knowledge that I could treasure every time I took him in my mouth.

Get the kit

Bright Desire is an absolutely gorgeous porn site with plenty of scenes that are intimate, fun, and hot. Ms Naughty also writes some truly stunning erotica, which I’ve had the pleasure of reading as audio porn. £22.67 for the first 30 days, then £9.83 for every 30 days thereafter. Or if you’re worried about recurring payments, you can get 90 days for £37.49 (or equivalent in your local currency)

FrolicMe is another stunning site with a glorious range of scenes – solos, couples, threesomes and more. I also sometimes write and record audio porn for this site, so alongside stunning video porn there’s a treasure-trove of erotica written and read by horny fuckers like me. Subscribe for £9.95 per month (recurring) or get one month on its own for £22.95. Alternatively, an annual sub comes in just under £50 and it’s well worth it – there’s lots of new content being published all the time.

Sex Tech VR Guide – I don’t have any VR porn specific sponsors (if you make it and you’d like to work with me, get in touch!) but these lovely fuckers have an amazing guide to the best VR porn including discount codes and advice on how to get started and set up. A great place to start if you’re a big sex and tech nerd. The site’s totally free.

Literotica – again, this one’s totally free. An absolute treasure-trove of stories, fantasies and also now… audio porn! If you ever want to go explore some kinks outside your niche, falling into a Literotica hole is a very nice way to do that. I’ve read stories on there in the past that have turned me on to ideas (tones, turns of phrase, specific kinks) that I’d never thought to pay much attention to before. This is a great site to explore if you fancy doing storytime with a partner.

Huge thanks to all the companies that help keep this site going, and make it so I can spend my days writing porn for you all. I have Covid at the moment so I’ve turned my heating up to keep me warm while I write these, and I wouldn’t be able to do it without these lovely fuckers. If you’re ever in the market for buying stuff (as horny Valentine’s Day ideas or at any other time of year), I’d love it if you could click the ads on site and check out the people who support sex blogs and make cool stuff. I deliberately try to make these hotter and more fun than just lists of ‘things to buy’ that you’d find on commercial websites, so even if you can’t buy stuff right now please do share this if you like it. Took me ages and I’m pretty proud of the filth contained therein.