It would never have occurred to me that simply wrapping a belt round your wrist would be hot until I saw this kinky porn picture. Just as I’d never have realised that the sound of a belt sliding neatly out through the loops of someone’s jeans would be hot until the first time a guy did it, with fire in his eyes and an urgent need to thrash me. There are plenty of tiny details like this which – while not pornographic on their own – create a stronger horny sensation than anything directly explicit.
This blog post, far from being just an excuse to show you a remarkably hot photo, had been sitting in my mind for a while. I wanted to talk about porn, and why generally the kinky porn I like tends to be made by people who genuinely share my passion for that particular thing.
[I can’t deny that it is also a nice excuse to show you a hot photo – from the latest Dreams of Spanking photoset ‘Dressed to Play’, featuring D. And his sexy arms. And tattoos. And a belt. Oh, and leather gloves because holy shit while we’re perving let’s get it all down in one place. Click through and buy a sub if you like it, because the site is FULL of awesome stuff like this]
What is so sexy about the belt round the wrist?
I’m usually good at putting stuff into words, but this one’s tricky. It’s partly the fact that belts overall are just remarkably sexy items. While my favourite implement for sensation is probably a heavy, thuddy flogger, belts have a spontaneity that I don’t think other spanking equipment has. Belts say ‘I grabbed this because it was the closest thing to hand and it’s very important that I thrash you right now.’ Belts have length, so you can use them to beat me while I’m sucking you off, urging me to go faster or deeper or harder with each lash.
On top of this, forearms are an incredibly hot – and underrated – part of the body. Anything which highlights someone’s forearms, be it a watch or a tattoo or a bracelet or a belt wrapped tightly around it like you’re pre-warming the leather before you get stuck in… unngh.
Then, of course, there’s the anticipation: someone wrapping a belt round their wrist – posing with it – is likely the kind of person who understands the significance of the belt, and who I imagine will be able to wield it harshly later on. For more, check out the blog that Pandora and I wrote together about why this photoset got so many people hot.
Kinky porn by and for kinksters
Far beyond these tiny details, though, I love this photoset because it’s the exact pervs-eye-view with which I’d look at a guy myself. As with all Dreams of Spanking porn, Pandora isn’t an outside observer trying to guess at what might trigger people’s ‘unngh yeah’ buttons: she’s going with her own instincts on what looks hot.
So understandably, there will be more ‘unngh yeah’ moments when I look at this kind of kinky porn than when I watch a video made by someone who is simply trying to guess at the kink. It’s why so much ‘porn for women’ falls at the first hurdle if it’s actually directed by men. It’s not a personal failing on their part – if you’re a straight guy, I don’t expect you to share my personal pervy preferences. You can listen, watch, and try to copy what you think is sexy in a guy, but you’re unlikely to think of wrapping a belt round a wrist if you’ve never perved on a guy’s wrists to start with. Porn made by – as well as for – the people who enjoy that particular kink is really powerful. It gives nuance and detail that other kinds of porn often can’t, showing that a BDSM kink isn’t just about watching someone get beaten to fuck – it’s about the build-up and context as much as it’s about a thrashing.
Above all, kinky porn made by the people who love it has a permanence that other porn doesn’t. I know Pandora loves this stuff too, and while individual tastes can change over time, someone who is genuinely kinky is unlikely to turn around in a few years and utterly disavow the kinky porn they’ve created, calling it wrong or degrading even though previously they enjoyed it. I’ve written before about erotica writers who say ‘oh, I write about BDSM but I’d never dream of doing it‘ – something which happens far too often. These disavowals are a slap in the face to all the people who have loved a particular scene – it tells them that while this pornographer is happy to take your money, they’ll chuck you to the wolves at a moment’s notice.
Watching porn and wanking is often seen as quite a ‘lonely’ thing. In fact, watching kinky porn made by people who share my kinks feels like the total opposite: it’s a connection. We bond over the little things that people who don’t share our kinks would never recognise, such as leather belts wrapped round powerful wrists. Leather gloves pulled on slowly. Whispered words and well-placed tattoos and the exact curve of someone’s skin pulled tight by leather or rope.
Kinky porn made by kinksters is, for me, all about those tiny moments which make you think ‘me too!’ It’s shared kinks and cherished secrets. And knowing that – once shared – this connection can’t be snatched away.
8 Comments
I just wanted to say I really love your writing. It’s sexy and profound.
Yes. Very much this. (Well, the message rather than this picture in particular.)
I’ve perused a fair amount of kinky porn, and feel I can tell the difference when the people making it are really into it, rather than just churning something out for the sake of it. The best stuff is produced by individuals or couples who started creating erotica not to make money, but out of love; because they have a passion for a particular fetish and just have to express themselves. Indeed, there are plenty of people on places like Tumblr just making kinky images and sharing them with the world for free, because they want others to appreciate something (a tightly bound corset, shiny latex gloves, a spanked arse…) the way they do.
And yes, the real joy is in discovering that some other people like exactly the same thing as you, and sharing vicariously in their enjoyment of it. Once again, I have to give an obligatory plug to FetLife (and similar sites), which have done wonders in helping thousands of people to find they’re not alone in the world. As I saw someone’s profile say, “Oh! Here’s where all the *normal* people are.”
I mean, the Internet is responsible for a lot of terrible, hateful things, but occasionally it produces something good.
Thank you for another stimulating and intelligent post GOTN. Now you mention it, a belt is a very understandable item to fetishise because it links sex and punishment, the belt is worn around the area close to the sexual organs and it’s also traditionally associated with corporal punishment. A perfect BDSM symbol!
This pic actually made me recall something from a few years back that actually contradicts my idea that my recent ‘beaten by ex’s man’ fantasy is the first man on man masochistic fantasy I’ve had.
Another ex girlfriend of mine confided in me that she had a fantasy that I would catch her in bed, getting hot n’ heavy with another man. I would wrench the guy out of her and me and him would have a fight as she crouched on the bed watching, eyes wide with awe and wonder.
As soon as she told me this, my masochistic mind started to flirt with the idea of him getting the better of me, and my girlfriend getting a front row view of a torn-clothed and bloody me getting my arse kicked by my still naked rival, his stronger flesh still bathed in coital sweat.
So I tested the water with her a little and asked “what if I lost… what if you were watching me lose”, but she just replied with “I don’t think you’d lose” (which is debatable anyway).
But yeah, the belt. As I lay beaten, he could slowly walk over to where his discarded jeans lay and menacingly slide his belt out of the loops, relishing every moment, showing he’s got this. My girlfriend’s eyes could widen in trepidation. He could take his time, eyeing my twitching, grunting body with a slight, sadistic smile on his lips. He methodically wraps the leather around his wrist. “No… that’s enough” whimpers my girlfriend, but it sounds perfunctory, insincere. And I detect a twinkle of pleasure in her eyes. She kind hide that she’s impressed. He leans over me and seized me by the hair… and makes an example of me before concluding the steamy session on the bed with my sweetheart. He’s not compassionate enough to leave me unconscious, so I’m treated to their low down n’ dirty antics in living colour and surround sound.
I’m suspecting that not so many women would want to be the girlfriend in this scene. I mean, they wouldn’t get off on watching their boyfriend get battered. But who knows?
I was wondering if you’d ever heard of such?
I haven’t ever directly heard of it – i.e. pals telling me that’s the kind of thing they’d get off on. BUT the way you tell it there (and assuming of course that this is all done in the context of consensual role play rather than one person genuinely getting beaten up against their will) it sounds incredibly hot. So, um, yeah. I can tell you that if my partner were into this, I could 100% get into this and would probably find it intensely sexy – seeing his visible arousal combined with the power-play of the fight scenario. I bet there are plenty of people on the internet with similar fantasies.
Hehe, so glad it did it for you. I like dragging others into my warped world… (though I’m sure you could outwarp me any day!) ;)
Hope you’re having a good Christmas. All the best for 2017!
Thank you! You too!
Aside from anything else, that is the best use of a niche Russel Brand quote I’ve ever read!
I think if I did a Russel Brand quote it was inadvertent! =)