I have broken my clit on numerous occasions in the past. Usually due to excessive masturbation or obsession over a new sex toy that has led it to go sore and numb and good for nothing. Now, however, my clit is broken for a disturbing Other Reason, and that is that I have not wanked for over a week.
I KNOW.
Over Christmas, circumstances conspired to mean it was pretty much impossible for me to masturbate. Visiting family, stress, the stress of visiting family: these things don’t just add up, they multiply, and leave me totally unable to wank.
Hence: my clit is broken.
Why am I writing about this? It’s boring. It’s not sexy. But it hits upon the main reason I write this blog: chasing that ‘me too’ moment. I want to write things that make some people go ‘huh, me too. I guess I’m not that weird’ and this feels like one of those things.
Blokes I have shagged generally find that their desire to orgasm drops the more recently they have had one. If they’ve spent an entire week beating themselves into an orgasmic froth, they’re less likely to want to jump on me the second I arrive at their house. Conversely, if they’ve not masturbated for an entire week, their jizztastic enthusiasm can occasionally be measured on the richter scale. I do not want to generalise: this may just be men I know. Still, though, it’s annoying when my experience is the exact opposite.
The more I masturbate, the more I want to fuck. The more I fuck, the more hot things are floating around in my head for me to wank over later. It is like a virtuous circle. But when I haven’t wanked for a week? Nothing. Just a frustrating three minutes with my Doxy before I give up and go make coffee.
(Three minutes because usually the Doxy takes about thirty seconds. If I go for much longer then I am liable to grind my own teeth down to dust)
WHAT DO I DO NOW.
Well, now I have to spend the next three days furtively wanking on the sofa, leaping on any opportunity to push me over the edge to orgasm, and pray I can get out of this vicious no-orgasm cycle. And while I wait for either an orgasm or the sweet release of death, I would like to know if I’m the only one for whom this is an issue.
Does anyone else find that there is a direct correlation between how much they orgasm and how much they want to orgasm? That a dry day – if not made wet tomorrow – is liable to turn into a long, aching drought?
Answers on a postcard, ideally with some sort of sexy story on it, which may help kickstart me into sexiness again.
17 Comments
Me too. If more than a week goes by I do get crankier, though. Definitely crankier. Even while my libido drops, I storm about in a huff, being irritable about things that I cannot control. Sometimes I have to consciously make myself get back on the horse (um, so to speak) in order to balance out my moods.
I find a definite correlation. The more often I rub one out, the more often I want to repeat it. Likewise with a partner. The more time we have a go at it, the more I want to go again.
This creates problems: when I’m alone, I sometimes end up with damaged goods if I continue too frequently. Then there’s healing time to consider and more delicate handling the next time. (A good lube here certainly helps.)
If I am with a partner, I may be enthused to continue and she will generally be game for another coupling, but not another 2 or 3. She has limits and her own soreness to contend with. And then there’s a waiting period for her to get randy again. (Not every girl is like you, GOTN!)
So, I’ve tempered my libido over the years, so that a “pace” can be established. Both alone and with a partner.
Still, every once in a while, I’ll find that partner who seems insatiable, and all been scare off then!
I am with you, GOTN. If i masturbate daily ( or near as) it keeps my libido ticking over but I have had periods of drought where it felt like everything was drying up. You gotta poke the embers!
And what about that feeling with a partner of ‘oh… We broke ourselves!’ I have a new lover of incredible stamina and after almost 9 hours of sexy stuff in a 24 hour period – a night, a morning, the next evening…we found ourselves used up. The desire was still there but the mechanics seized up. How panicked and empty we felt! We thought we could go on forever…,
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!
“You gotta poke the embers” – LOVE this =) And good to know I’m not the only one!
Re: the ‘breaking ourselves’ thing – I do get this sometimes too. Although usually it’s less in response to a long session (I don’t have much patience so super-long sessions are fairly rare for me) and more to do with something particularly enthusiastic, which ends with me being a bit sore because I pushed things a bit too far. Umm. Not literally. OK maybe sometimes literally. Although often those times also leave me with a super-hot snippet or memory that I keep thinking about and that gets me a bit more frustrated if I can’t go again.
Yep. Glass of wine and peruse some GOTN filthy ones will soon fix that :)
A guy’s perspective here:
While orgasming can affect my desire for another one, it often doesn’t affect my need to fuck. Sometimes I masturbate because I need to release some kind of built-up pressure, but sometimes I do it because I really want to fuck, but can’t. In the latter case, orgasm rarely makes a difference; I don’t want an orgasm, I want to fuck, but I only get the orgasm.
That built-up pressure that means I need to get off otherwise I’ll be moody and unproductive only comes on in certain situations, though. If I’m left with a lot of time to myself to think and daydream, I might need to get off every day. But if I’m busy, stressed, surrounded by people all the time, with a clear propose, that need to release can disappear after a week or so, and then I can go long stretches without even the desire to fuck. And far from being frustrated, these have been times of either calm or feverish work – both of which I enjoy. Sometimes the only only thing that can get me thinking about sex again is some girl who crashes into my world.
It doesn’t happen like that every time, though.
I’m definitely more like you than the men you refer to. I find generally there’s a positive reinforcement effect to these things: if I haven’t wanked in a while, I don’t particularly want to. But if I’ve wanked recently, it reminds me how great orgasms are and makes me want to have another one (though not *right* away). So as a result I basically go through cycles of high and low sexual activity alternately.
I also had a ‘dry’ week last week, partly for family reasons and partly because I just wasn’t in the mood. But then this week I’ve been making up for it and having a wank every day, which is way more often than normal for me. Probably after the holidays are over I’ll get back into a proper rhythm.
By the way, this might be something to do with ‘spontaneous desire’ vs ‘responsive desire’. I assume you’re familiar with that – this blog might even be where I read about it. But the point being that for some people, sexual desire more frequently arises spontaneously, while for others, it more frequently arises in response to something sexy or to sexual activity itself.
Supposedly men tend to be more ‘spontaneous’ and women more ‘responsive’, but I suspect I may be on the more ‘responsive’ side: when I get horny, it’s usually in response to some stimulus (visual, written or imaginary), and if I don’t come across any, my libido usually stays low until I deliberately stimulate it.
Yep, definitely familiar with it – I need to read a bit more about it, I think. I like the idea that we’re starting to talk about arousal in terms of how it affects individuals differently, although I’m always suspicious of things that are too strictly gendered. Like you say, you may be more responsive, and my gut tells me that it’s more helpful for people to think in terms of ‘how does MY arousal work?’ rather than ‘how do other people of my gender work?’ but it’s definitely helpful to have different ways of looking at it, and highlight that we don’t all respond in the same way.
And I think ‘it reminds me how great orgasms are’ is pretty spot on. After a dry week I’m often a bit ‘meh, can’t be bothered’ and I suspect it’s partly because I’ve lost the memory of just how ace it is to come =)
Thank you all! I feel much better and not so alone in my brokenness =)
Interesting. Wanting an orgasm for me doesn’t seem to vary by when I last had one. I’ve often had a second shower orgasm after having completely dried myself from the first shower. LOL. That’s a good one to try, by the way, GOTN. Just put a seat in the shower open your legs and relax in the jet. Fabulous.
I too have had a fairly dry festive season. Two Xmas day fucks and one shower wank on 29th. The family all leave tomorrow and things will get back to normal – that afternoon, I hope. ;-)
As a guy – I find the only thing that frequency of getting off affects is the volume of cum. The more often i’m getting off, the less that comes out (but the more I want to play, still).
However, I’m with you – if (work stress|life|visitors|alien invasions of the not hot kind) circumstances conspire to keep me from getting off for a few days, I’m more likely to have a harder time (hah!) getting into it. The one upside to those periods of time is when I do finally manage to get off, there’s cum for days!
My sympathies, GOTN. I hope you’re back to full firing strength soon.
I was left unable to fire my crank after having a circumcision at the beginning of December. For the first week and a half, I really was up on blocks, no porn, not fruity Tumblr-ing, not even any GOTN!
All it took was a good morning stretch to make it wake up and then I knew it was time.
But how? The old technique wasn’t possible.
I found a way….
It will come back for you too.
x
It’s the same being a bloke, I used to wank daily (up to ten times a day when I had the time when I was 20)…now I’m married and in my 40’s I like to give my wife a good hard session. If I wank in the morning it helps me last a bit longer with my wife at night, but it is never as hard and as explosive if I’ve cum already. Over the Christmas period I thought I was broken too….but it must have also been stress, because on New Years Day we fucked twice and now I think my mojo is back again…:-)
I’m the same as you. The more sex and orgasms I have the more I want it. And if I haven’t had any, it fades – but only for a bit. No matter what, the week before I menstruate I crawl out of my skin with desire. But there are times of stress or sickness or just being busy and then it certainly fades :)
Urgh! Unfortunately my clit is broken for the unseeable future! *sobs*
I’ve been taking antidepressants for over 8 months now and they have not decreased my labido..like I still love sex and masterbating but nothing happens! D; I feel a climax building and it feels like it’s going to be amazing with fireworks and earthquakes but it just keeps building until it hurts and I’m exhausted from tensing every muscle in my body but no relief..no fireworks or even a flicker..I’m a dud :'(
I hope you find your earth shattering moments again soon! :D
xx