As I write this I am bleeding quite heavily from the ass.
Bear with me – it’s challenging enough writing when your hands are shaking with shock, without having to turn anal fissures into something resembling a sex post. But I love a challenge.
As I’ve said before, I love buttsex. It hurts and is dirty and brilliant.
Boys with a desperate urge to fuck me somewhere painful hit my ‘oh holy fuck yes spot’ like nothing else.
Just the sound of a guy spitting on his cock, followed by the feeling of the head pushing nice and tight up against my ass gives me a powerful kick-in-the-gut of lust.
“Roll over and put your face in the pillow. I don’t want the neighbours to hear you crying.”
And the main reason I like it is because I don’t really like it. I like that he wants to do it. I’d be happy never having an orgasm again if I knew I could be used by all the men I love, in all the ways they’d love to use me.
“Bite down on this, because I’m going to fuck you somewhere it really hurts.”
Turning it down
And I can’t say no. I can’t. I can pull away if it really hurts, and I can say “please use more lube” and I can say “I can’t, I can’t, please” but I’m always a tiny bit sad if I have to make the sexy things stop.
If he carries on I’m in pain and if he pulls away I’m disappointed. The only solution in these situations is to cover his dick with lube, smear it all over, fill my ass with it and hope I don’t scream loud enough to scare the cat.
Preventing injury
If you have similar issues, there are lots of things you can do to prevent buttsex injuries.
But there’s nothing you can do to stop the very real problem – being a complete moron.
Because yesterday, as I buried my face in the pillow and raged silent screams into this one boy’s bedlinen, all I wanted was for him to keep fucking me. To force his dick harder into me. To spit on it more, grip my hips in his beautiful big hands, and pull me back onto his thick cock with quick, hard strokes.
I wanted him to keep doing it, and doing it, and doing it. To call me a filthy girl and tell me I’d take it even though it hurt, and tell me I was good, and it’d be over soon.
And as he panted and grunted and shoved himself harder into me, it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the pain in the pit of my stomach, the pain that I’ll feel until he comes. I won’t be complete until I’ve heard him moaning and panting for the last few thrusts, while his cock is twitching and pumping spunk deep down inside me. That pain hurts far more than my ass hurts while he’s fucking it.
Who’s to blame?
Oh, society, why do you make me do these sexy things?
I’m joking – it is very loudly and clearly my fault. Just as the smoking is my fault, and the excessive drinking, and that one time at the age of nineteen when I discovered what coffee was, drank 18 cups in one day, then blacked out in a car park.
As in the rest of my life, the injuries I sustain at the hands of whatever ridiculous pervery is floating my boat this week are all self-inflicted. And I know this. And I know that sometimes it’s bad for me. But at the time I’d no more tell someone to stop than I’d turn down a cheque for a million quid.
But somewhere in the pit of my still-quite-queasy stomach, I have a feeling that I should stop. Not just on the one or two occasions where I’ve caused myself actual damage, but permanently. Perhaps, just as I should pack in the cigarettes I so idiotically enjoy, I should also stop fucking in a way that hurts me. Maybe I should learn when to say no. Maybe I should turn in early, sober and alone, with a good book that won’t make me wank before bedtime.
But it doesn’t really work like that, does it? There’s only so much sobriety and calm and reason one person can take. I like to think that the filthy fucking is a trade-off for the things that I haven’t done – properly experimented with class-A drugs, or been in a real-life fight. When I’m actually injured and bruised and broken I am miserable at myself for having no self-control. But I think I’d be far more miserable if I didn’t do any of this stuff at all.
So the answer can’t be to stop it all completely – I’d be sad and alone and miss out on the most fun I ever have without spending any money. I’d miss pushing the boundaries and scaring myself and the brilliant minute just after I’ve done something truly horrible when I turn to a boy and he grins and says “fuck, that was filthy. Let’s do it again.”
Disclaimer: This entry is being published a while after it was written, to preserve the anonymity of the boy in question, and prevent him from being so horrified that he never fucks me in the ass ever again. So thank you for you concern, I am completely fine now and no longer bleeding from the ass.
25 Comments
Well, seeing as how I read this with a dull throbbing in my asshole from Wednesday night’s session with a girl who I was desperately trying to get to fist me (and since she’s taller than me, that fist wasn’t small) all I can say is, Praise the Lord & pass the Sudocreme.
Most of the time, I can be fucked in the arse without it hurting. My associate is big, and fucks me hard, but on one memorable occasion he fucked me nine times in an afternoon before, on the tenth go, it started to smart a little.
Sometimes, though, it does hurt. Sometimes it bleeds a little. Occasionally, it bleeds a lot. And I kind of love that. Not kind of. I love it. It worries me, and sometimes I say “okay, next time, you probably shouldn’t fuck my arse quite so much…” and then next time I’m back to begging him to. Because damn it, whether it hurts or not, it just feels so GOOD.
Plus, you know, it’s kind of fun fucking, going out for dinner and coming back from a trip to the ladies’ to ever so daintily lean over the table and whisper “I’m bleeding…”
I *think* you have just taken my ‘pervy commenter of the month’ award. I don’t actually have anything to give you, but thank you for coming here and making me look slightly less pervy.
In the interests of safety I should probably warn you that medical people tell me these things are not good for you at all. Which obviously makes me a bit sad.
I feel I should respond with something more dignified than “crumbs!” but, well, I can’t.
I know it’s something to be careful about, but I never have ongoing pain (maybe soreness, but nothing alarming) and I rarely see him more than once a week, so I think it’s reasonably safe. I do try to be a little restrained, though, because I’d hate to end up with any kind of lasting damage – I mean, then I might not be able to have anal sex at all! Er, and it might be bad for me, and that.
(Oh, and in the interests of clarity, I should point out that yes, it was ten times in my arse. I think there may even have been a couple of times in my cunt first.)
I really wish you wouldn’t use the word ‘ass’. It’s so American. I much prefer the word ‘arse’. I have mild gripes with the term ‘buttsex’ too, for the same reason.
Hooray! Pedantry! This is one of my favourite sexually linguistic points, so bear with me.
I fucking *love* the word ‘arse’ – it sounds substantial and slappable. However, I think that your arse (i.e. the bit that you spank) is so very different, and so differently used and abused from the actual, you know, rectal cavity that it deserves a different word. And also I like to distinguish the two because sometimes I like guys to fuck me in the ass, and sometimes I like them to put their cock between my arse cheeks and fuck it vigorously until they come up my back. American though the word is, it’s a distinction that I feel is very important.
Also, there are few sexy words for ‘ass’ as in ‘the thing you fuck’. Why, in the previous paragraph I had to describe it as a ‘rectal cavity’ – awful.
The word buttsex I will happily drop if you can suggest an even vaguely sexy alternative. I hate the word anal (too medical), and I am genuinely stumped for anything better.
I can sympathise with your objection to ‘anal’, in that I’d never use ‘oral’ or ‘vaginal’ while engaged in same. But somehow, maybe just from being dirtier, ‘anal’ is different. Especially in the right context, like telling a hot girl rapidly approaching (or already in, but undeterred) the state detailed in your post that she’s such a good little anal slut for me.
I am definitely in agreement with you in wanting to distinguish between the hole and the arse cheeks. Personally, I don’t find the more medical terms off-putting at all. It is just being literal. I like the term anus and also anal. Maybe you could use ‘arsehole’? I also like that term. (Is it strange that just by writing these words down, I’m getting turned on?)
I am also in favour of arsehole.
‘Arsehole’? Jesus. It’s a horrible, *horrible* word. Feels not only clinical but also far too pornified, like it’s just a thing to fuck – a hole – rather than part of a person connected to all the other sexy bits that go with that person.
I wrote a post a while ago on words that are and aren’t sexy, am now thoroughly regretting not having ‘arsehole’ on that list. I appreciate that choosing the right words is really key if you’re hoping something’s going to be sexy. But the problem is that people’s tastes in this area are so personal and can be swung by such simple things as a previous partner using the word badly and killing it as a sexy thing forever. Here’s the previous post on it:
http://www.girlonthenet.com/2011/09/29/on-choosing-the-right-words/
But in the meantime, it’s my blog, and I refuse to sully it with arseholes. =)
“can be swung by such simple things as a previous partner using the word badly and killing it as a sexy thing forever”
Ha, yes! But also, can be swung in the fun direction by someone really hot using the word well (e.g. I never much liked the word ‘spunk’ before my associate started using it to me.)
Thoroughly agree on the idea of giving body parts names, though, thankfully I’ve never come across a ‘Barry Junior’ or the like. I’d find it hard not to laugh out loud, even if the man in question were extremely hot.
(Related, ish – American porn stories where the word ‘that’ is used in place of ‘my’ – ‘spank that ass!’ Sort of expect the gentleman in question to say “Which one, that one over there? I was rather intending to spank YOUR ass…” Offputting.)
The ‘that’ thing hadn’t occurred to me, so thanks for mentioning it because now it will bother me during ANY PORN I EVER WATCH.
I asked people on Twitter and they seem reasonably 50/50, with some coming down on the side of not using ‘ass’ and others saying that it’s fine/sexier than ‘arse’. This language business is a fucking minefield.
Bugger, sorry. I’ve only really noticed it in written porn (I don’t really give a fuck what they say in the videos, so long as the visuals and sounds are hot) if that helps?
Come to think of it, what about ‘bugger’ – is that a word which can be used in a sexy way, or is it almost entirely just an expletive now?
Hehe, was only joking – sure I’ll be able to block it out =)
Re: bugger – possibly. But only slightly possibly, said in the right tone by exactly the right posh boy.
“said in the right tone by exactly the right posh boy.”
Mmmmmm…
ARSEHOLE is pornified??! They hardly ever use that word in porn. They normally use the word ASS and BUTTFUCK which is exactly why I hate those words. I actually get turned off when I hear them. They sound so fake. ‘Arsehole’ is much more English and common. Like something the girl next door would say. I hate professional porn – much prefer amateur stuff. British amateur stuff even more so. For someone that seems to like being ‘used’ in the bedroom quite often, it comes as quite a shock that you don’t like parts of you being referred to as ‘holes’. Have you never said or liked hearing someone say ‘fuck me in any hole’? Next you’ll be telling me you want someone to ‘make love’ to you.
Hmm. This seems to have turned from an interesting discussion into one in which you’re trying to shame me for using the words that I do. Yes, I think ‘arsehole’ is pornified. No, I don’t like the phrase ‘fuck me in my hole’. Hole is porny because it objectifies – in a bad way, and in a way that makes me feel like I am not part of the sex. Also, it sounds horrible and isn’t a fun word, unlike, say ‘cunt’ and ‘ass’ which I enjoy.
Anyway, it might just be the way your comment read, but it feels a bit aggressive – bear in mind that language is an intensely personal thing and we’re probably not going to agree on it.
You should stop the cigarettes, they’re bad.
Class A drugs are bad to. But I had so much fun in the 1970s with LSD it would be hypocritical of me to suggest you give them a miss, but be careful.
Buttsex: Condoms and lots of lube are really mandatory requirements to do it safely.
Enough preaching, have fun, excitement and really wild times. I did and I don’t regret anything.
Blimey – I find condoms make buttsex more difficult. Not that people shouldn’t use them, of course, just that I prefer buttsex with partners that I have known a long time who have had all their tests etc etc as it’s way more fun.
I’ve never tried LSD – far far too scary for me. Booze is my general drug of choice, mainly because it’s handily available in pubs, and also makes me horny. Well, slightly hornier than usual, at any rate.
Is this where I mention that I don’t really need lube? My body fails me in many ways, but certain aspects of my physiology are just marvellous.
“Blimey – I find condoms make buttsex more difficult.”
Agreed.
The thing about condomless buttsex is that even if you and your partner are STI-free and trust each other lots, the germy beasties on the inside of your rectum can get shoved inside his urethra or on little abrasions on the surface of his penis by the friction of your fucking, or conveyed in there by lube, and give him a nasty infection. Also, cleanup is so much easier if you use condoms and/or gloves.
Being a bisexual male I have a special fondness for all forms off buttsex. When I had a girl who was a bit uncomfortable with the idea I told her I’d show her how it worked on a guy and if she still didn’t want to do it, I’d drop the issue.
Let’s just say that after watching her vibrator get a thorough work out during my session she was a bit more open to the idea. (Sadly, the guy I found was 100% gay and not at all interested in a giant Human Centipede-esque anal party).
I think it might just be the way you read it. It is simply my opinion. A comment on what you wrote. You seem to enjoy stating VERY clearly what your opinions are on words, yet not so keen on hearing what others think. Yes it’s your blog, but you encourage comments on your writing, right? All I was saying was that the word ‘ass’ and ‘buttfuck’ are nasty, porny words to me and makes the piece less enjoyable to read. Just my opinion.