Some men fuck like I make coffee: cheaply, quickly, and without fear for what you’ll have to wipe up afterwards.
I like this very much.
Naturally no one would want it like that all the time. If every guy came within a few seconds, panting ‘sorry’ five seconds after he’d whispered a ‘shall we?’ then sex would hold about as much joy for me as a quick, relief-fuelled piss behind a tree when I’m out walking and caught short.
But sometimes it’s exactly what I’m after. I love intense fucks: ones where you spend ages fucking me into a frothing squirm of orgasmic desperation, then deliver one or two nice, deep thrusts that give me that relief, but occasionally I bloody love it when you don’t.
When you put your dick inside me and – seconds later – I feel it pulsing come even as your muscles tense with cringing embarrassment.
‘I’m sorry.’
‘That almost never happens.’
‘Give me a few minutes and we’ll go again.’
Premature ejaculation
When I was younger I used to think that premature ejaculation meant something completely different – that it meant ‘ejaculating before you’ve had an orgasm.’ Because how heartbreaking: to have the spurt without the satisfaction. My heart went out to this unsung army of sexual heroes – those guys who could never reach the ultimate climax because they’d jizz before the joyful part, render their dick incapable temporarily, then begin the whole thing again in the vain hope that this time – this time – they might get an actual orgasm.
Eventually I found out that it didn’t mean that at all. That what I’d seen as a terrible affliction was far less tragic than I’d previously believed. These guys were still getting there – they were just arriving a hell of a lot more quickly than the other person traveling with them.
The first fuck
He slipped inside me, trembling all over. I was trembling too, partly due to an overconsumption of RedBull, but partly because this was a guy I’d been wanting to fuck for ever. All the unspoken desires, all the nights spent lying awake next to each other determinedly not touching, all the nighttime fantasies – they finally came together in this moment, as he held himself up by his hands, and I opened my legs, and I lifted my hips to meet his stroke.
And again.
And again.
And then he came.
‘Oh fuck,’ he muttered. ‘I… God… sorry.’
That fuck was perfect. It did exactly what I wanted at the time, which was cement all the lust I felt for him and give me an image of his face, screwed up in concentration, trying so hard not to feel it.
Another guy, later, told me after a shag so brief he’d have beaten the Countdown music, that he’d had to think of something awful to stop himself coming.
And as I write this I know it sounds like bragging – it sounds like I’m saying ‘Look at me, everyone! I’m so goddamn hot that I can make guys come with barely any sex at all! They find me so hard to resist that they’ll jizz as soon as they get it halfway in!’ It sounds like bragging because I genuinely am delighted, and because I still touch myself and think about those times when guys came so quickly.
Because a hell of a lot of things are deeply erotic, but right up near the top of the list is the idea of a guy who wants so badly to fuck you that he fucks you so very badly.
Recreating the first fuck
Perhaps that’s why I spend so much of my adult life chasing new and exciting sexual thrills. Whether it’s a guy whose words I fancy saying something flirtatious on Twitter, or a brand-new person to fuck, or a situation so hot that the person I’ve fucked a million times before can barely contain his excitement…
The other day I used a particular toy for the first time. It’s one I’ve had for ages: a simple, slick vibe that’s exactly the right shape and smoothness to fit neatly into my arse. It vibrates in just the right way that, when I lie on my front and he pushes it into me, with his cock in my cunt, it pulses on the sensitive parts of his cock.
Four seconds. One thrust. A stillness as he tried to hold back. The inevitable quiet moan and pumping, twitching sensation, as I felt his resolve dissolve. He came hard and forcefully deep inside me.
‘I’m…’ he said. ‘Goddammit. I wanted that to be a long one.’
And I laughed, and rolled over.
‘Don’t, mate. That was amazing.’
‘Ah, but… I’m…’
‘Sssh, mate. Don’t you fucking dare be sorry.’
Shagging shouldn’t always be instant coffee: sometimes it’s a full-on, hand-ground, rich-flavoured art, and as a consequence it takes ages. You get a richer taste at the end because you’ve put in so much effort. And I know that in writing this blog I’ll get people asking ‘but don’t you care about your own pleasure?’ Of course I do. it’s just that sometimes, your ‘sorry I don’t know how that happened’ can give me far more pleasure than the kind of functional orgasm you could rub out of me if you’d really put your back into it.
If you touched me once and I writhed with joy, came instantly at the touch of your fingers and screwed my face up in joy and surprise, would you be sad? Would you lament the speed with which I got to the end? Or would you, quite rightly, look at your fingers like they were magical, and rejoice in the fact that you… well… you made that magic thing happen.
If you fancy doing the fuck-me-in-the-cunt-with-a-vibrator-in-my-arse thing, the vibe I used was a fairly slim, long-ish one. I’d recommend something like this, or if you prefer more texture then something like this. And because it’s on my sponsor’s site you’ll get 10% off it if you use code GOTN10
20 Comments
“If you fancy doing the fuck-me-in-the-cunt-with-a-vibrator-in-my-arse thing”
To quote Douglas Adams; “The mere thought hadn’t even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind.”
I can honestly say that’s the first time Douglas Adams has given me a truly filthy grin…
Pretty sure anyone who combines girlonthenet with Douglas Adams is my actual dream man.
I married one of those wonderful men. :D
Aw, I love that you call him ‘mate’. That’s love. x
It’s British.
I know, so am I! I just think it’s lovely; nice and affectionate. Never been big on the ‘sweethearts’ and ‘darlings’ that couples use…
I know, so am I! I just think it’s lovely; nice and affectionate. Never been big on the ‘sweethearts’ and ‘darlings’ that couples use…
Why do some men feel they need to apologise for coming too quickly? It’s not as though they can control it…is it?
Men in our culture are supposed to be able to control everything.
This was what losing my virginity was like, with my long-term high school boyfriend. He came almost immediately, but it was beautiful, it felt like an expression of how uncontrollably he loved me and I couldn’t have been happier.
I used to be so concerned about trying to last longer. Now I generally find those times when I can’t hold back from cumming quickly as summer of my favorite. And I usually think it’s hot when a guy has the same experience fucking me. I am especially grateful for a five minute fuck when I’m on a”break ” at work and fucking a guy in the back.
OK, so it sounds like you have a pretty amazing job right there…
I work at the sleaziest sex shop in town. I like it. Lol
In all seriousness, one of the best quotes of all time. “To be or not to be . . . ” “We have nothing to fear but fear itself . . . ” “Because a hell of a lot of things are deeply erotic, but right up near the top of the list is the idea of a guy who wants so badly to fuck you that he fucks you so very badly.”
Purr. Fect. Tion.
Know what you mean. And would also like to add that the man who goes on and on and on pumping away until you start wondering if he’d notice you checking your phone is far, far less enjoyable than a desirable two-pump-Percy.
Unfortunately, premature ejaculation has ruined my life. Did you know there are several kinds? Most men occasionally suffer from “Secondary” PE, this is situational, and happens when a guy is over-excited, or stressed, or something novel is happening, or he’s thinking about premature ejaculation so much it happens, etc.
I suffer from the other kind, “Primary” Premature Ejaculation (sometimes called ‘Life Long’). This is a nervous system thing, whereby the ejaculatory response is triggered either immediately upon arousal, or with little-to-no stimulation. I’ve never been able to hold-back my orgasm long enough to achieve penetration (so, in terms of P-in-V, I’m a 35-year-old virgin). This kind of PE occurs universally, which means both during masturbation *and* with a partner. There’s no treatment for Primary PE (some men report success with a type of anti-depressant called SSRIs which sometimes has orgasm-delaying side-effects. Not for me, however).
It’s so humiliating that I no longer pursue sex/relationships. I wouldn’t want to trap someone I care about in any kind of sexless situation. And, like, how do you even confess this condition to a potential new partner? It’s a minefield.
My first boyfriend would run out of the room, pants on his ankles and I wouldn’t hear from him in days. That was shit. I felt like he only cared about his performance, and not me. My current boyfriend is like you described. Just so excited, and I feel very loved and sexy when it happens.
I do find it interesting how much some men’s self-worth is tied up with their penis. I used to date an impotent man for a while and eventhough he was very self conscious about it I remember him as the best sex partner. Because it took so much longer for him, I had to contain myself in order not to rush things. And for me, this was so hot because he would tease me and kiss me and this gave me the most intense orgasms (every. damn. time). And besides that, we’d also try different things to get me off which opened up a whole new array of sex experiences for me. And still he would feel inadequate about his penis (size was also an issue.. Sigh).
P.s. I did try to boost his confidence and when we had a friendly break-up he did tell me that he really liked our sex. But I don’t think he believed that for me, it was the best sex
I’d love this again so much. My partner was like this and I loved that he was so turned on he’d get there in minutes and it worked for me hugely. Until 4 weeks ago when he stopped being able to reach orgasm at all. He stays hard and can go for hours. And then again and again on and off for days but doesn’t cum. Sex 3/4 times a day for over a hour can get right to the edge like he’s going to and then the sensation goes. I’d love to be back to the few mins or longer the second time but still reaches orgasm.
Premature ejaculation means that the girl says “That was all?” after sex – believe me, I got this. Premature ejaculation means you never get the “it’s a full-on, hand-ground, rich-flavoured art” even when you want it, because they guy is unable to provide it. It’s not about the occasional quickie, it’s about not being able to push three times, because already came after the second.
After many-many “practice lessons” I got to the point where I can fuck my wife pretty much as long as I want with slow strokes and occasional pauses as long as she’s laying on her back or she’s riding me. She’s enjoying it very much thankfully :-) so I think I’m kind of over with the premature ejaculation thing. Still, in doggy position, if she’s laying on her belly or if we’re doing anal sex, I may last 10-15 strokes at most. Anal sex is the most problematic in this aspect, sometimes I come even before I can fully push my dick into her arse (it’s kind of annoying, because all of that preparation goes out of the window). However, I still can’t provide a fast, furious and long (I mean, longer than 10-15 seconds) fuck. Actually this is her motivation to go to a swinger club, there are guys there who can give it to her good. The same problem makes me kind of apprehensive in the club – what if the woman under me wants the fast and furious style? What if her pussy is more tight than my wife’s one?
I really appreciate you, as a women saying that “don’t worry about premature ejaculation”, but I’m not sure you really got the seriousness of the problem. Could you live only(!) on instant coffee?