God, sorry everyone. I hate doing admin/please-give-me-your-money posts, but frankly I have new cool shit to send out to Patreons, and I’ve just turned on annual subscriptions, so it feels like as good a time as any to tell you why supporting the audio porn project on Patreon is totally worth it.
Over the last few years, Patreons have been responsible for all the kickass audio porn that goes up on the site. Their support has allowed me to spend more time turning my back catalogue into accessible smut, and more recently bring on lots of other new writers and readers. Since the audio project launched, we’ve created nearly 300 audio stories, which have been listened to millions of times. I don’t know the exact figures because I wasn’t tracking properly at the start, but in the last year alone we’ve had over 2.2 million listens to tracks on the audio porn hub. That’s a lot of smut, and a lot of joy brought by the fabulous people who help pay to make it happen.
All the audio smut is available entirely for free – no membership fees, no paywalls, no nothing. I’d like to keep it this way forever and ever, because the whole point of the project is to make erotica more accessible, so I want it to be financially accessible too. If you want to help me in that mission, voluntarily chucking me a bit of money on Patreon is a powerful and simple way to do it – audio goes up first on Patreon, then later down the line it goes up on site for free to everyone. You also get loads of cool shit, as a thank you.
What do I get if I support the audio porn project on Patreon?
You can support me at a bunch of different levels, and higher levels you get this cool badge designed by Black Heart Creatives, but because I am shit at business and I hate letting people feel left out, you actually get most of the benefits by supporting me even at
The lowest tier (£2/$3 ish per month)
For this you get:
- Ad-free browsing of the whole site (including audio). If you’re sick of hearing the audio adverts, support me here and browse the site while you’re logged in to Patreon, and voila! You never need to hear another ad again.
- Bonus extra content, which sometimes consists of monthly updates where I give you behind-the-scenes gossip from the audio project + my life generally. Sometimes it consists of interviews with my horny friend Jess where she shares wisdom on how to have great threesomes (we’ll probably do another of these next time Jess and I get together). Once it involved a story based on Patreon suggestions, about a man sitting in a cornfield wrapped in a Union flag, getting slowly e-stimmed to climax while he watched a combine harvester gather the corn. Yeah, we have fun.
- The chance to join in with any Patreon Zoom calls (the next one, by the way, is on 10th October, so join now and register for that if you want to come hang out and write improv erotica with me).
- The opportunity to shape the project – vote on what you’d like to hear turned into audio each month.
The other popular tier is £8/$10 per month
You get all of the above plus…
- Monthly extracts from my first book, read by me and then given bonus DVD commentary in which I dissect how problematic I was and/or tell you some of the extra bits of sexy story that didn’t make it into the book. We’re over halfway through it now so if you join at this tier you have TONNES of sexy/problematic storytime to catch up on.
Want some stickers and a Superhero card?
To give you a little extra nudge to support the audio porn project on Patreon, if you join as an annual member (at any level) before the end of October, I’ll send you one of these cool superhero cards (pictured above) which feature the kickass Sex Ed Superhero design that SheVibe made of me, as part of their Sex Ed Superhero Trading Card series. I look exactly like this, by the way, and this is the outfit I wear at all times. Including when I’m nipping out to Tesco. Yes, I know, I’m incredibly badass.
PLUS if you’d like some of these brilliant stickers (designed by the fabulous Stuart F Taylor) then you can have some of those too. I like the idea that people will be giving their sex pals ‘fuck me like you mean it’ stickers as rewards for excellent work.
You also, as an annual member, get 10% off your subscription, so at the lowest tier you can support me for a year for just over 20 quid and get all this cool stuff PLUS the knowledge that you are helping to power the audio project and bring more hot smut to literally millions of people.
Isn’t Patreon about to kick adult creators in the teeth?
This is a constant nagging worry at the back of my mind, and to be honest I can never guarantee that Patreon isn’t going to ditch me at any minute. However, I’ve had a good look at their updated plans for 18+ creators and it should be more than possible for me to comply. I am not pleased about having to provide them with my ID and I’ll be asking exactly how they plan to keep that info safe, but the extra guidelines about getting consent from collaborators and confirmation that they’re over 18 is something I’ve already been doing as part of the process for licensing their work anyway, so I don’t think it will be a huge issue. I’ll be speaking to guest authors/readers as and when I hear from Patreon.
At the moment, this site – the audio, the words, the guest blogs, the art, everything – is powered roughly 50% by advertising and 50% by Patreon. I’m working on that, because the more I can spread out how it’s funded, the less reliant I need to be on any one channel. But the last year has really done a number on me so I’ve had to be way more reliant on Patreon subscriptions (yet another reason why I remain eternally grateful to those who support me there!). So for now, if Patreon wants me to jump, I will ask ‘how high?’ with a smile painted brightly on my face.
Come join me there, and I’ll keep you updated as and when I hear more. And also, you know, in less boring things – I’ll send you a card and some stickers and hang out with you on Zoom on 10th October. Oh! And soon I’ll have a brand new batch of guest audio to bring to you – it’s gonna be SO FUCKING GOOD.
Tl;dr – chuck me twenty quid/thirty bucks or so, support the audio porn project for a year. I’ll make it worth your while, innit.