I GET THE BEST MAIL. This guest blog is an (almost entirely unedited) email from a reader saying thanks for the audio porn. And while normally I wouldn’t publish emails that consist of people saying nice things about me, this contained an ingenious use of audio that I wanted to share with you all. I often hear from people who say they listen to the audio with their partner, or share links with people they’re shagging to start a chat about new kinks/things to try, but this piece – from Fahrenheit – includes a beautifully creative use of audio porn during sex that had not occurred to me. I am so grateful for this – it brings me a proper thrill to learn that people are out there getting their kinky fuck on to the work that I (and the amazing team of guest writers/readers) produce here.
A kickass way to use audio porn during sex
My partner and I were lying in bed after a quick but nice fuck. I’d found GirlOnTheNet.com a while back and thought she’d be really into some of the stories.
“Hey, next time we’ve got a long evening for this, you wanna listen to some porn?”
“Eh. I always find that so awkward.”
“I found some that’s like erotica but in audiobook form, not like the audio track from a porn vid. I was thinking I’d put that on your headphones, tie you up, blindfold you, and have my way with you while you listen.”
“…FUCK. Okay that sounds incredibly hot. When you asked to watch porn together I assumed you meant, like, cuddling with a laptop next to us.”
That’s how it came to pass, but it really started some months or maybe years before. I’d had the idea for a sensory deprivation-type situation, but filling the silence with music or something because something to focus on other than your own thoughts can be a blessing and also because I lacked noise canceling headphones. But I wanted to be able to listen along, so I could match my actions to what my partner was hearing. And try though I might, I could not figure out how to get my Android phone to pipe audio to both the headphone jack and the speakers at the same time.
Headphone tech for filth purposes
The breakthrough came when we finally entered the modern age and got wireless earbuds. I’d finally switched to an iPhone as none of the major Android vendors were making phones that could fit even in men’s pockets by that point, and Apple still had a “mini” version. I don’t know how much of this is specific to iPhone, or the AirPod Pro, but Apple makes it pretty dang easy to set this up. It’s got a feature called “Share Audio” that’s like those Y splitters you used as a teenager so you could listen to the same CD on the plane together, but without the risk of strangling one another when you get up to pee. The Airpod Pro (and lots of other earbuds these days) has both active noise canceling and a feature called “transparency mode” that lets you hear your surroundings as though you weren’t wearing the earbuds.
You described a big part of the appeal of this in your sensory deprivation sex blog post. My partner enjoys being restrained, but sometimes while setting all that up the dead space where the conversation should be blossoms into this really awkward period where everyone gets into their own heads. Pop in the earbuds, though, and now you’re listening to a sultry voice warming up to tell you about a really filthy fantasy and you can’t hear your top bustling around with the ropes or cuffs, dropping things and rummaging in drawers for the lube. Your world is reduced to the story, and the physical sensations of someone moving your body around and taking away your mobility bit by bit. The story absorbs the awkwardness of having nothing to do but wait for someone else to finish so they can get on with getting you off.
And of course the beauty of the earbuds… we’re both listening to the same thing. She’s got noise cancellation on, enhancing the sensory deprivation, but I have transparency mode on so I can still hear our surroundings and the noises she makes for me. I can match what I’m doing to the pace and pulse of the story.
Choose the right audio porn
The story you pick is important. If you’re going to listen to just one, make it one that starts slow. Give yourself time to finish all your setup while it’s still setting the scene. Fucked by a bachelor party is perfect for this. It builds up the setting for several minutes before a dick finally gets sucked, and it gives me plenty of time to finish tying her down and maybe start teasing her while waiting for the story to catch up and really get started.
Or you can do two. One for the main event and a short one – lots of the recordings are only 4 or 5 minutes long – to listen to during the setup. I’ll sometimes use one of the recordings that’s less a story and more a description of “What I find hot about X” (like the one I linked above about sensory deprivation sex) for setup and then when that finished we’re ready to roll into the second story…and this one can start with a shag right out of the gate.
So that’s it. Your writing is delightful to read on my own, but even more fun to share. And what better way to share some utterly depraved filth than getting someone off to it?
As I say, I am ridiculously grateful to Fahrenheit for telling me this! What a fuckawesome thing to know, that my work is being used in this way! If you want to try this but you don’t have the headphones (AirPods are expensive innit) you can achieve similar things by putting it on the stereo/playing through a speaker – though admittedly it won’t be quite the same, it is a cheap alternative.
And if you’d like to do this, or if you have other creative uses for audio porn, I’ll let you in on a little-known secret: if you support me on Patreon (at any level) you get access to an ad-free version of the site when you’re logged in. This means you can play one track after another without any ads, which should help prevent my chirpy ‘buy stuff’ voice from interrupting your steamy sextime. Patreon also has the ability (currently lacking on the site itself) to kick out a podcast feed, so if you’re a Patreon supporter you get all the latest tracks fed into your podcast app of choice.
Do you have any other creative uses for audio porn? Please do tell me! I absolutely love hearing this stuff!