Girl on the Net

Forgive the meta-blog, this is one for other sex writers and bloggers, so if you’re just here for the filth or the ranting, check out a random archive post or two and normal service will resume on Sunday.

When I first started sex blogging, I didn’t really think it’d be a big thing. I thought I’d write some half-baked opinions and spit out some of the sexy stories that I was itching to tell people, and then one day I’d shrug my shoulders and just… well… stop. Then some people started reading it. They were joined by more people, and in the brief periods of time between writing a blog and worrying that it wasn’t any good, I managed to start doing things like writing articles for other websites, and a book, and other stuff.

Then I went to a conference in which loads of people gave me advice on how to be better, and it was amazing. It basically answered a whole bunch of questions I had about sex blogging, like ‘how do you get people to pay you to write about hot things on the internet?’ and ‘how do I pitch articles to people who have never heard of me before?’ To be honest, the only question that remained unanswered was ‘how much time do you spend masturbating?’

If you’re a UK-based sex writer, you’ll probably have heard of Eroticon – it’s run by Ruby Kiddell of WriteSexRight. At Eroticon, a bunch of sex writers get together to swap advice, listen to talks from experts on various things, and get together in the evening while swapping amusing stories. Some of us even end up in Exhibit Unadorned‘s hotel room, drinking all of his wine.

Ruby asked me to do a talk this year and while I hate the idea of talking in public, I am actually going to do it. I’ll probably sweat buckets, shake with panic, and then fall over in front of you – which will hopefully be entertaining. The main reason I’m doing one is because:

• last year I learned so much from the people who came along that I thought it’d only be fair to share some of my own lessons learned.
• I am 100% confident in the loveliness of the sex blogging community and know that none of you will take photos of my face and post them on the internet

I haven’t written my talk yet, because Eroticon 2015 isn’t until August, but I’m planning it and the aim is to tell you ALL THE THINGS that you might want to know. From how much traffic you need before you can start charging for ads, to why I have a weird exclusive sponsorship model, to how to pitch to mainstream places and get them to pay cashmoney for your articles, how and why to pay for other people’s work (while staying anonymous): all that businessy shit.

I don’t talk about it much on here, because it sounds a bit distasteful, but it’s not: it’s good to pay the bills, and share the love. And talking of sharing the love – I get a free ticket for Eroticon because I’m a speaker, so I’ve used some of the money that the lovely SexToys.co.uk give me to buy a ticket anyway, that I can give to another writer. So here’s the deal:

Win a ticket to Eroticon 2015

If you want to come to Eroticon, but you’re not sure you can afford a ticket, or you’re not 100% sure about going and you need a nudge to come and join in, drop me an email with a link to your blog (or website/author page if you’re a writer) and in a month’s time Ruby and I will give the ticket to someone. Basically all I’m looking for here is to see that you’re a writer, because obviously if I just give it to a random person then that wouldn’t make much sense.

[Ts and Cs: you must enter by email including a link to your blog. Prize is one ticket to Eroticon but you need to make your own way there. Winner will be picked on the 13th March by random draw, and announced on 14th March. Draw decision is final, unless the winner forfeits their entry, in which case we’ll pick someone else.]

Help me write my Eroticon talk

Some of the things I care about are massively weird. I mean, I once spent an entire evening making graphs of which Apprentice candidates made it to the boardroom, so my idea of ‘interesting’ might be hugely different to yours. So, if you’re a sex writer and there’s a burning question you have about sex blogging, drop me an email with your question, or leave your question in the comments, and I’ll try to answer it in my Eroticon talk. If you’re not coming to Eroticon, see above about winning a ticket, but don’t worry if you can’t make it – I’ll make sure there’s some stuff online after the event.

And as to the first question re: time spent wanking, the answer is – I don’t know, but (see above re: my nerdy level of interest in otherwise irrelevant things) I am currently compiling a spreadsheet. I’ll keep you updated.