Category Archives: Unsolicited advice
Sexy things to keep you entertained during lockdown
It’s really fucking shit, let’s start with that. Lockdown continues/escalates across the UK, to varying degrees of clusterfuck depending on where you are. One thing is certain: at some point you’ll be trapped at home, bored and miserable and longing for the Before Times. To try and ease the misery, and plug the awesome companies who support my site, here’s a quick rundown of some sexy things to keep you entertained through the oncoming horror show.
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The worst online dating strategy for straight guys
Look look! I’ve found it! After years of sifting through terrible dating ‘systems’ and advice that amounts to ‘treat women like they’re vending machines‘, I think I’ve found the worst online dating strategy of all time. One that misses almost every conceivable mark. Are you ready? Here it is…
For the one night stands who were not mistakes
To the one night stands. To the fucks who didn’t love me, or ever need me to love them: a heartfelt thank you. You were not mistakes, but memories.
Dating during Covid, and finding men who like me
Fully aware that I am about to launch into ‘why GOTN is wildly irritating’ territory, I ask the third guy in the space of a week: “You say you like me but… what exactly is it that you like?” It’s not that I want him to kiss my arse, I genuinely need to know the answer. Without a real answer to that question, I don’t think I can meet him. Dating during Covid has helped me realise that what I’m after in a date has been refined – or just better defined – since the last time I was single.
After a break-up: My ex boyfriend still reads the blog
“I still read the blog sometimes,” my ex told me, then added in a quieter voice “you’ve been so kind.” I’m taken aback. I can’t quite work out what to say except ‘of course’, and then ‘you should probably stop reading soon.’ In that moment I think the greatest kindness I can do is warn him not to read tomorrow. I have no idea if this is appropriate, and later I’ll wonder if that was actually the worst thing I could do – like telling someone not to open a box, torturing their curiosity and making it inevitable that they’ll crack and look inside. This stuff is hard after a break-up. I have no idea what’s right. I have no idea what to say or where my words are or why my mouth is glue and sawdust. I still love him.