This post includes discussion of coercion and non-consent. If you give a shit about spoilers, it also contains details of episodes 2 and 3 of SexFactor. 

It’s a reality show in which wannabe porn stars compete to complete challenges which include anything from sultry poses to full-on fucking: of course I have watched ‘Sex Factor’. I usually avoid Xhamster, but this show has had a huge amount of press attention, so I couldn’t really not.

And I have very, very, VERY strong feelings about it.

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We all kick different hornets’ nests. Whatever you write, whether it’s vegan recipes, erotica, news or even lighthearted comedy, at some point or another you’ll have to deal with a gang of angry people who really want you to stop. You’re too X, not enough Y, you’ve pissed off someone’s idol or what have you. Mentioned something controversial. Unless you want to be either bland or silent, you’ll write things that stir up emotions. You offer your opinion. Make an argument. Tell a story.

And in doing so, you’ll probably kick a hornets’ nest.

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This guest post on harassment is going live at the same time as my post on the same topic, because it’s a perfect partner to that blog. When I spoke at Eroticon, lots of people joined in during the Q+A to discuss their own experiences, and @DJFet74 gave some seriously great advice – from a practical as well as a psychological perspective. She’s kindly written it up so I can share it with you…

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I’m still catching up on work, blog and life after Eroticon, so to tide you over with something fun I’ll give you a quick and dirty poem. I wrote this in part during Ashley Lister’s workshop, then tweaked it slightly on the train back.

It’s rough. But so am I.

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