He’s on the phone in the living room and I can hear one half of the conversation. I understand about twenty percent of it. The other eighty percent is a delicious mixture of authority, skill, and words I don’t really understand that are directly related to his job. A job which I know he is pretty fucking good at. I boil the kettle. I grind coffee beans. I prepare him a coffee so delicious that when he gets off the phone he’ll acquiesce to my request: please please please can I suck your dick now? He’s in ‘work mode’ and it’s intensely sexy – I want to start from flaccid, and have the joy of sucking him hard.

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Wow, it’s been a while since I last did a sex news update (aka ‘two things‘) – sorry I’ve been a bit off the ball. This week, I wanted to highlight ‘sexperiments’ – those people who write articles about how they’ve made themselves shag every day for a month to save their marriage – and also let you know that tickets for Eroticon 2018 are on sale now. If you are – or want to be – a sex blogger or erotic writer, there’s time to pick up a cheap ticket in advance for next year.

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I wanted to shout out to him as I heard him come down the stairs. I knew it was him. I could tell from his footsteps, and the way he made slightly more noise than he normally would – treading heavily to give me notice that he was awake. I’d been lying on the sofa for an hour or more, heart thumping and mind running over the things I wanted to say. The one thing I wanted to say: take me. Fuck me. Now, while my body is perfect.

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The most important thing to remember about electrosex is that the smaller the surface area, the more intense the sensation. Where you draw the line between pleasure and pain depends on your own threshold. I like warm, broad sensations. The smack of an open palm. The heavy thwack of a thick leather belt. Electricity that tingles over my skin when he places a full hand on the back of my thigh. Other people like intense, pinpoint pain: the sting of the cane, leaving a lattice of thin red welts to show you took it well. With electrosex there’ll be no marks, but the rule applies: the smaller the surface area, the more intense the sensation. Today I want to tell you about the ElectraStim Jack Socket.

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For the last couple of months, when we kissed, the first thought to flash through my mind was: “this is supposed to be fun.” I told myself over and over, like a mantra, willing it to come true. Sometimes it did, more often it didn’t. The actual joy of sex was lost to me, and I worried I’d lost it forever.

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