We’re in bed, getting down to it, and usually my one-track mind is laser-focused on what it will feel like when he slides his dick inside me. At the moment when I realise that’s not going to happen – he’s slowly softening and the look on his face switches from horn to confusion or embarrassment – I remind myself how lucky I am that I don’t ever have to worry about erections myself. Twenty years ago, if a guy went soft on me, my main feeling would be heartbreak: he doesn’t fancy me enough. I’m ugly. Unsexy. Incapable of teasing a boner from him. Ten years ago, I’d be annoyed: did he have a wank before we met up? Has he had too much to drink? These days, frustration and sadness have (thankfully) made way for a different feeling: relief that the pressure isn’t on me.

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I like squeezing my cunt muscles while I’m fucking someone. There’s this glorious moment, just on the in-thrust when they’re plunging inside, where if I time it right I can get the muscles to clench just where the head of their dick is. It adds resistance, making them shove it harder. And tightness, so I can better feel how hard their cock is. If they have a particularly prominent head, I can feel the edge of it rubbing past the ridge on one of the internal walls of my vagina. And if they’re expressive (which they should be, oh God I really really want them to be), sometimes I can make them let out a little grunt. Of pleasure? Maybe. Of surprise? Perhaps. I also like to imagine it’s one of effort. They’ve been expecting a certain amount of resistance, but by squeezing my cunt I can ramp it up a little – giving them more to push against and encouraging that gorgeous unngh noise in the back of their throat as they realise they have to fuck harder. If this sounds hot to you (it is, oh God it really super is), here are a few times when it’s fun to squeeze your cunt.

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I could show you how to fuck me till I come, if you really want me to. You don’t need to perform or practice or keep an eye out for the sexy faces I make, reading them like I’m an ancient text you need to try and decipher. If you want to fuck me till I come, I can show you. (more…)

Lockdown plays havoc with my horn, and I know I’m not alone. A brief survey of ‘most people I know’ tells me most of us are struggling with very weird lockdown libido. Sometimes we’re numb to the very idea of sex, and wanking feels so alien that we wonder how we could ever have stomached touching our own genitals before. At other times we’re climbing the walls, wanking twelve times a day then yelling BRING ME MORE FUCK like some sex-starved Henry VIII.

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“I’m not 17, I’m a grown-arse woman. I just regularly make childish mistakes.”

– Tracey, Chewing Gum

In today’s blog, I am going to tell you about a ridiculous, embarrassing mistake. The first person I told was my good pal Jessica, who greeted this story with howls of laughter followed by ‘you’re definitely going to tell the blog this, aren’t you? You HAVE to.’ And yeah… I am committed to telling you my silliest fuckups as well as my sexiest fucks, so I guess I do have to. This is a story about chewing gum, and the question of how soon in a budding relationship is too soon to be a fuckup.

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