This one’s fiction, which will hopefully become obvious when we start talking about wormholes. I’ve had it in drafts for absolutely ages, and I am still not entirely sure it’s right, but I’m running a bit short on stuff at the moment, so please enjoy this dimension-jumping, universe-splitting love(?) story. 

She’s been staring at him for weeks over sticky pub tables and board games and jokes. Each time she catches his eye there’s this absurd teenage chest-blush feeling – the warmth of nurturing a crush and holding it close to your heart. The debate – if you can even call it a ‘debate’ – that she’s having with herself  about asking him out, is all part and parcel of the fun of it. Will they? Won’t they?

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Alone, I am no one and nothing. Anxious and vulnerable and desperate for love. Insecure and needy and truly, truly foolish. Left to my own devices I would probably never make difficult decisions. Let’s face it, I might not be capable of getting out of bed. But I can do even the hardest things because I have great people beside me. My people give me superpowers: you give me superpowers.

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What I’m looking for in a vibrator depends very much on my current state of mind. Sometimes I’m after a vigorously efficient orgasm that rockets into my life and makes me feel like I’ve been run over by a sexy freight train – during those times I’d reach for my Doxy. If what I’m looking for instead is a precision wank, where all the pleasure is directed to exactly the right spot on my clit, concentrated and magnified like a shaft of sunlight that eventually bursts into flame: Zumio. If I need something guaranteed to make me come nice and hard around a dick I’m fucking, the vibe I’ll slip into my lover’s hand then press tightly against my clit is the Hot Octopuss Amo. Unfortunately for the great people at We-Vibe, when they sent me the brand new Nova 2, what I was looking for in a vibrator was something that could help me forget that I just broke up with the man I love, in the middle of a pandemic, financially fucking myself over and effectively ripping out my own heart. It had – to put it mildly – one hell of a job to do.

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There’s something intensely and deliciously powerful about grinding on someone’s cock. Not bouncing up and down like I’m performing a sweaty porn workout, but grinding. Getting properly stuck in to the sensations of wet flesh pressed tight against my clit. Lovely. Today I’m going to talk about grinding, in the context of a sex toy that’s designed for exactly that: the Hot Octopuss Pulse Duo Lux.

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There are some things I can’t do myself, and testing out a brand new device aimed at helping people with premature ejaculation issues is, sadly, one of them. Luckily for me, CJ Brook (@CJBrook_) was on hand to step in – valiantly and eagerly agreeing to put the MyHixel TR through its paces. MyHixel is one of my newest site sponsors – they used research on premature ejaculation to create a device plus app-based training programme designed to help you delay your time to orgasm. There are two different devices – the TR (reviewed here), which focuses on climax control, and the MED which is more tailored to premature ejaculation. How does ‘climax control’ training work? Penis-owner and excellent guest blogger CJ Brook is here to tell you. You’ve met him before, in this fabulous post about cloning his dick, and this other one on butt plugs and the joy of a great hotel wank. What did he make of the MyHixel? Let’s see…

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