A few hours before we’re due to go out, I’m pottering around the flat and these two hot people are hanging out in the living room. You’ve met these filthy fucks already – a few months ago they absolutely annihilated me in the kinkiest threesome I’ve ever been treated to. I choose that phrasing carefully: it really was a treat. Like a brutal sports massage for my masochistic subby side, performed by depraved heroes who really leant in to my request: ‘please ruin me.’

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While I work on commissioning more guest audio porn (there’s still time to submit before 1st June if you would like your work turned into audio porn!), the usual guest slot will be filled with improv erotica: stories inspired by suggestions from Patreons, who have chipped in some amazing scenarios. They give me a name, a kink, a location and an object and I try to write these into fun pieces of horny flash fiction. This week’s piece about being humiliated in the urinals is a lovely excuse to wallow in a kink I adore but rarely get to do (and therefore write about): watersports/piss. Obviously don’t read/listen if that’s not your thing – there’s plenty of other audio porn here. 

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While I work on commissioning more guest audio, the usual guest audio porn slot will be filled with improv erotica: stories inspired by suggestions from Patreons, who have chipped in some amazing scenarios. They give me a name, a kink, a location and an object and I try to write these into fun pieces of horny flash fiction. This first piece is some hot exhibitionist erotica about getting fucked in a library – at the top of the story you can see the prompts which sparked it.

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When he tells me to be mean to his dick, I don’t think this is what he expected. But in the moment, I cannot resist. In the moment I realise that although I’m usually uncomfortable in the dominant role, there is one kind of power that I’m more than happy to wield. One way in which I am more than happy to utterly break a man.

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“I’ve been thinking of getting a cock ring,” my toyboy tells me, and I nearly reach through the screen and grab him by the collar as I bark: “do not even think about getting one that isn’t the Atom Plus Lux.” It’s the best vibrating cock ring I’ve ever used, by quite some margin, and my heart breaks at the thought of his burgeoning enthusiasm for sex toys being dampened by any lesser item. Besides, alongside other benefits of dating me (like my high-quality jokes and love of sucking cock), there are practical perks to dating a sex blogger too, namely: I’ll get you free cock rings if you flutter your eyelashes nicely.

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