“I don’t really do phone sex,” I say to him, as I shuffle across the bedroom with my trousers partway down, reaching for a dildo and my Zumio. He replies “yeah, I know,” and in the background I can hear him beating away at his cock.

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I want you to ruin my life. Take the weak, thumping jelly of my heart and just… fucking… eat it. Yank it out of my body and hold it high in both your hands and laugh as you sink in your teeth. I want you to ruin my life.

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It is very very rare for me to stumble across weird sex that I haven’t already fantasised about, or seen elsewhere in porn, and as a result it took me a good long time to work out how to put this story down in words. 

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Note: I wrote this one quite a while ago, and it happened even longer ago. 

His flat is filled with mirrors, which is helpful for two people who really love watching ourselves fuck. He plays Massive Attack at just the right volume, which is great for two people who really like fucking to Massive Attack. And as I hold myself up on the corner of the kitchen counter, one foot planted on the surface and another on the shelf nearby, holding my cunt at the perfect height for him to slam his cock home, he growls: “What do you say?” And I tell him, breathlessly, “thank you.”

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Today’s post is a little out of the ordinary – it’s a piece of erotic fiction, also recorded as audio porn, about a guy getting pegged by a stranger in a train station toilet. It’s not the sort of thing my brain would usually spit out, but thanks to my fabulous Patreons, who gave me suggestions for new erotica on a recent Zoom call, I have a crop of new ideas to play around with. When we do live calls, we come up with ‘improv erotica’ – Patreons give me a character name, kink, location and object and I try to weave those into a sexy story. Not gonna lie: I fucking loved writing this one.

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