I am fuckdrunk yet again. My legs are limp and my muscles weak and my throat is parched and all I can feel is the throbbing satisfaction in my cunt. For a split second I wonder if I’m making poor decisions, then I realise that fuckdrunk me could not possibly care less. Thinking straight is not as fun as being high on dick.

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There’s usually a moment during a fuck where I can sense a change in pace from the dude who is fucking me: a slight increase in speed, or a pause, that can mean he’s on the verge of coming. At this point, what I really want to do is start begging for cum. Tell him ‘please god yes fucking squirt your cum inside me.’ But it’s a pretty risky strategy.

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Have you ever held the end of a lit cigarette to a crumpled ball of flash paper? There’s this brief period of time between the moment when you touch it to when it catches fire, and in that second it could be that the paper isn’t special at all – maybe this is just normal paper, which will burn slow and steady instead of exploding into light. Then wait… beat… FLASH. A sudden whoosh of bright light and fizz. You have to chuck it up in the air quickly so it doesn’t burn your hand, and the release and catharsis of watching it burn eclipses anything that came before. The other day I was fucking a guy and he whispered something in my ear.

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We’re having a conversation about kinks. The fun things we’d like to try (or try again), and the ways in which we’d like to tear into each other. This is the kind of foreplay I really love: talking. Talking is my kink. Hearing someone tell me what they’re into – whether confident statements or shy suggestions – gets me hotter than anything else. So we’re having a conversation about kinks, and he tells me he wants to tear off my clothes.

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Sometimes – very rarely – I will meet a man so filthy that within five minutes I am dreaming of the bad things I want to do to him. That kind of lust is a gutpunch – an instant hit of horn that has me weak and drooling. But that kind is not as common, or as real to me, as lust that grows slowly.

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