Sometimes – very rarely – I will meet a man so filthy that within five minutes I am dreaming of the bad things I want to do to him. That kind of lust is a gutpunch – an instant hit of horn that has me weak and drooling. But that kind is not as common, or as real to me, as lust that grows slowly.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who unwrap their gifts with care and precision, trying not to shred the paper as they go, and those who tear into it with eager, gleeful joy, destroying the wrapping in their haste to get to the gift. If you’re the second type of person, this Christmas erotica is for you.

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During this absolute trashfire of a year, many people turned to audio porn to distract them from life in lockdown – there was a distinct uptick in the number of people visiting the audio porn hub around the end of March, when suddenly we all became way more restricted. But what was everyone listening to? Here’s the most popular audio porn in 2020.

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A while ago I wrote a post about how – and why – I love being called a ‘good girl.’ Someone told me recently I should write a pair post about ‘good boy’ and naturally I always aim to do what the fuck I’m told, so here goes. I have frequently used the word ‘good boy’ when I’m fucking someone, but as I’m not naturally very dominant, my reasons for using it and the ways in which I use it may well be very different to your own. Nevertheless, here’s how to get a ‘good boy’ out of me.

Note: this post is quite cisnormative, sorry about that. So far all the good boys I’ve fucked have been cisgender. Just be aware that you don’t need to be cis to be a good boy, and I’ve tried to include some non-dick-focused activities in here as well as the more cock-heavy ones. 

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Sometimes I sit down and try to write something good, but nothing good springs to mind so instead I write a 400 word poem about fucking. Enjoy! Or don’t! It’s entirely pointless and silly!

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