Category Archives: Filthy ones
Fuck me like you mean it: 42 different ways to say ‘fuck me’
“Don’t call me ‘good girl’ unless you plan on fucking the Mario coins out of me.” Ever since I saw that excellent, excellent tweet, I’ve been thinking about hot new ways to ask someone to fuck me. Seriously: ‘Fuck the Mario coins out of me’ has to be up there as one of the best fuckbegs I’ve ever heard. Gold. I cannot promise to do quite as well as that (who could?!), but with big thanks to those on Twitter who chipped in, I’m aiming for quantity in lieu of quality. Here are 42 different ways to ask someone to fuck you.
I killed the mood but he brought it back
Partway through a fuck, I realise something’s not quite right, and I mention it. BAM! I have killed the mood. I’m annoyed with myself and a little disappointed so I tell him. We stop shagging. We hug. We sweat. I say “sorry” a few more times, because “sorry” is the word I instinctively reach for when I have nothing else to say. “Stop saying sorry,” he tells me. “Stop saying you killed the mood.” But I can’t stop saying it, I’m stuck in a loop of it, and I don’t know how to escape. There are two paths open to him here…
What happens at the end of No Nut November
I’m not a fan of No Nut November (the month-long challenge where people try not to wank for reasons that vary from ‘fine’ to ‘oh God please stop spewing falsehoods about wanking harming your brain’). I like wanking and I dislike people who try to make others feel ashamed or broken because they enjoy a hand shandy. However, there is one huge benefit to the end of No Nut November that I haven’t yet dwelled upon for fear I’ll end up trapped in a horn spiral for the whole of lockdown. Namely: how much fucking jizz there’ll be when everyone who is partaking in it joins a massive beat-one-out party at 12:01 on December 1st.
More and harder – gang bang erotica
Recently my Patreons and I started a fun game where they give me prompts (name, kink, location and object), and I use them to try and write something that ticks the boxes and (ideally) is nice and wankable. This month I am working busily on a super-secret project that only they know about, so I hope they won’t mind if I borrow a little story from behind the paywall and put it up here for you to enjoy. This is a piece of gang bang erotica which was written off the back of the following prompts… Name: Laura, Kink: Gyno chair, Location: Swingers’ club dark room, Object: rope, tied to chair.
Note: contains piss and, obviously, a gang bang.
The Relentless Moon – werewolf erotica
Every year for Halloween I try to take an evil/scary creature and sexify it by writing some erotica. In past years we’ve done a succubus, a siren, a vampire and (my favourite from a filth perspective) a zombie. This year, @OnQueerStreet suggested I take on a werewolf, and I liked the idea of writing something romantic and loving that had hidden teeth. So here goes: The Relentless Moon. Werewolf erotica, for Halloween 2020.
This story is also available as audio porn – click ‘listen now’ above, check out the halloween tag for more spooky/filthy stories, or visit the audio porn page to get all the audio smut.