Category Archives: Ranty ones
Efficient dating 2: How to talk yourself out of a fuck
Welcome readers, I like to imagine you’re on the edge of your seats, eagerly anticipating the climax of my efficient dating experience with a man who kindly fulfilled my last-minute request for a date, then came with me to a Travelodge to make out on one of the beds. Quite a few people replied excitedly to part one expecting porn in part two, thus falling into my cunning and evil trap. I wanted to raise your hopes nice and high because that’s the energy I brought with me on this date – it’s the energy I bring on every date. I wasn’t expecting anything, but naturally it would have been a welcome joy to have a sexy dude put it nice and hard inside me. The resulting disappointment will give you a true taste of my dating life because brace yourselves: this man well and truly talked himself out of a fuck.
In the face of fascism, what can we do?
CN: fascism.
One of the first things I saw when I woke up this morning was a screenshot of the title of a Trump executive order: “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government” and my blood ran cold. It isn’t a surprise, but the speed and breadth of Trump’s executive orders is a hell of a lot to take in. In the face of such a clear, violent, overt declaration of fascism in the US, what can we do?
Up your game!
I read this one to Patreons in December, and it’s long, so here’s this post as audio if you prefer.
I have a message here for men. And before I get stuck into it, I’ll clarify (as I always have to) that obviously I don’t mean all men. In fact this time I don’t even mean ‘most’ men. I am speaking very precisely to single, straight/bi/pan men in London between the ages of about 30 and 50. My message is this: up your game.
Gisèle Pelicot’s power, and Dominique Pelicot’s shame
Have you heard of Gisèle Pelicot? You must have by now, surely. You must have heard of the woman who stood up publicly and showed everyone exactly where the shame lies in a rape case. Gisèle’s husband, Dominique Pelicot, drugged her repeatedly and invited strangers into their home to rape his unconscious wife over a period of almost a decade. There are 50 other men who have all been found guilty today, and more who have still not yet been identified. Despite the enormous stress of publicly naming your assailants, Gisèle Pelicot waived her anonymity in this case, to ensure that people knew not just what had been done but crucially who had done it. Gisèle Pelicot taught a world that desperately needed to hear it that ‘shame must change sides.’ So as we celebrate her breathtaking heroism, let’s also spend some time discussing Dominique Pelicot’s shame.
You can’t build love on lies
When I was young, my family used to be big followers of soaps: Neighbours, Eastenders, Coronation Street. I can’t remember what else there was to do on evenings in the nineties besides yell things at the telly as ludicrous fictional characters cocked up their lives in ever more creative ways. Perhaps this is testament to how my Mum raised me, but when I watched soaps, the thing that got me most irate was how terrible people were at just fucking talking to each other.