Category Archives: Ranty ones
Goodbye Sinful Sunday/What we do is good, actually
It shouldn’t need saying, and I hate having to say it, but needs must: what we do is good, actually. By ‘we’ I mean sex bloggers, erotic photographers, independent pornographers, and anyone who falls under the broad umbrella of ‘sexy content creator’. In light of the devastating news that after fourteen years of running the gorgeous, body-positive, empowering Sinful Sunday project, Molly is shutting it down, I wanted to take a second to celebrate what she (and the amazing contributors) do for us. And highlight the fact that in a world which is getting more hostile to independent creators in the sex space, it’s more important than ever to remind everyone that what we do is not immoral. It is not wrong or perverted or sick or worthy of being expunged from the internet. Sex and masturbation is a healthy part of most adult lives, and creating media that inspires and celebrates pleasure is not just acceptable, it is valuable. What we do is good, actually.
Why the phrase ‘the ick’ gives me the ick
You know what ‘the ick’ is, right? A feeling you get for someone based off a silly/cringe/weird thing they did or said or are, which torpedoes your burgeoning attraction for them. Little moments of disgust which, once noticed, mean you can no longer fancy that person. It is often understood that ‘the ick’ is both irrational and unavoidable. About a month ago (sorry I’m slow) Stefano Hatfield published an opinion piece in the I Paper about how terrible ‘the ick’ is as a concept, so it feels like a good time to dust off my rant about why I hate this phrase so very much.
Efficient dating 2: How to talk yourself out of a fuck
Welcome readers, I like to imagine you’re on the edge of your seats, eagerly anticipating the climax of my efficient dating experience with a man who kindly fulfilled my last-minute request for a date, then came with me to a Travelodge to make out on one of the beds. Quite a few people replied excitedly to part one expecting porn in part two, thus falling into my cunning and evil trap. I wanted to raise your hopes nice and high because that’s the energy I brought with me on this date – it’s the energy I bring on every date. I wasn’t expecting anything, but naturally it would have been a welcome joy to have a sexy dude put it nice and hard inside me. The resulting disappointment will give you a true taste of my dating life because brace yourselves: this man well and truly talked himself out of a fuck.
In the face of fascism, what can we do?
CN: fascism.
One of the first things I saw when I woke up this morning was a screenshot of the title of a Trump executive order: “Defending Women From Gender Ideology Extremism And Restoring Biological Truth To The Federal Government” and my blood ran cold. It isn’t a surprise, but the speed and breadth of Trump’s executive orders is a hell of a lot to take in. In the face of such a clear, violent, overt declaration of fascism in the US, what can we do?
Up your game!
I read this one to Patreons in December, and it’s long, so here’s this post as audio if you prefer.
I have a message here for men. And before I get stuck into it, I’ll clarify (as I always have to) that obviously I don’t mean all men. In fact this time I don’t even mean ‘most’ men. I am speaking very precisely to single, straight/bi/pan men in London between the ages of about 30 and 50. My message is this: up your game.