Category Archives: Sex blog advice
I asked sex bloggers to share a post that defines them
People slag off Twitter a lot these days – rightly so, because a network that used to be fun has become almost unusably cesspitty these days. But despite its popularity with arseholes, there are still some fabulous people on there, and plenty of joy to be squeezed from finding others who are into the same things you are. For me: sex writers. Recently I put out a tweet asking sex bloggers to share a post that they felt summed up who they were as a blogger. Which of their posts is the most ‘them’ thing they’ve written? Which post would give your readers an instant, concentrated hit of what they can expect from your blog? The answers ranged from funny, cute poems through intensely hot stories and fascinating insights to powerful, emotional pieces that grabbed me right by the heart. I thought I’d share some of their answers, and hopefully introduce you to a few new bloggers whose work you’ll love.
It’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on
Obvious point: it’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on. Especially a personal blog which relies on telling stories. At the moment the world is mostly flooded with two types of story: the boring and the horrible. There are rare, lovely, sexy moments of joy, and I try to capture those when my brain is functioning, splatter them onto the page and hit ‘publish’ quickly before I have too long to second guess whether they’re good enough. But I’m mostly here for honesty so I’m just going to say it plainly: it’s hard to write a blog when there’s a plague on.
Reasons it is very cool and fun to date me
Just putting it out there: it is very cool and fun to date me. I promise. No, it’s not a total nightmare of reading posts about yourself and wondering whether you’ll get a good write-up, or listening to me bang on about butt plug brands until you’re entirely turned off butt plugs forever. It’s really cool and fun, and I am not in any way a total shambles.
Snapshots and truth: what makes a story
Most of what I write is true. But ‘Truth’ itself is much more slippery. Truth with a capital T can never come from the mouth of a single person, and it never comes in the form of a story, because the act of telling a story involves shaping and curating truth: picking which bits stay in and which bits get cut. What makes a story, when it comes to non-fiction, isn’t Truth but perspective.
Dating problems I do not want to have to solve
The problem with suddenly becoming single is that it throws up a bunch of dating problems that I very much hoped I would never have to deal with. I appreciate that absolutely none of these are serious – they are all things I’ll happily overcome, about which my whining is intended to be no more than a brief and amusing distraction as you trip down whichever path your Wednesday happens to be taking. My current mantra, as life gets harder, is ‘I like doing difficult things.’ Doing difficult things is incredibly empowering, and having the freedom to do those things excites me. Nevertheless, as I start to explore the ways I will throw myself into the exciting hard stuff, I can’t help but bump up against dating problems that I genuinely do not want to tackle. Here is a brief (and likely non-exhaustive list) of things I can’t be arsed with.