What’s more satisfying – making someone laugh, or making them come? Don’t think too hard, just answer the question with your first instinct. Laugh or come? Which is more satisfying? I asked this question a while ago on Mastodon and the results were extremely close. Within a few percent of each other. I found this really surprising: I’d expected it to go a very specific way, with a dramatic win for one side. I’m not even like those people who tried to nitpick the poll by saying ‘why not both?’ (because the whole point of the question is that it’s an either/or, ya bellends, really obviously we’d all go for both if that were an option). Anyway. I expected the poll to go decisively one way, because to me there’s no contest whatsoever.

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This gorgeous piece about yearning for anal play is written and read by Lou Kane and originally appeared on their website.

The sun had only just crested the horizon, its first butter-yellow rays invading the small bedroom D and I shared. My fingers were already at work. It was a standing rule that I was allowed to touch myself without asking permission if D was asleep; lately, I’d been pushing that rule to its outermost limit.

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It’s usually pretty hard to content note Halloween erotica. It’s fun to give myself the challenge of writing something dark and horror-focused at this time of year, and I like ’em gruesome. If you’re also into macabre sex stories you might enjoy the following, but if you don’t want to read about people fucking reanimated corpses, you should probably give it a miss. 

I wake up screaming. No idea why, but I wake up screaming. Just absolute, cold-blooded, throat-ripping screams. Christ. Fuck. I can’t understand it. It takes him a couple of minutes to calm me. Stroking me with gentle hands and crooning ‘ssssh’ into my ear.

I try to sit up. Can’t.

Try to move my hands. Can’t.

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There are so many incredible things I could highlight about this week’s guest blog. It’s got some stunningly achey descriptions of kissing, and kissing is very much my jam at the moment. Some truly exquisite descriptions of fingering too, which I don’t think gets nearly enough attention in erotica (my own included). And I’d be silly if I didn’t mention – for search as well as for fans of the act itself – that this is a deliciously explicit fisting story, detailed and real and beautiful. But for me the best thing about this week’s erotic fiction is the intimacy of it. From the first time the characters lock eyes to the very final gasp of the story, they’re locked together in a deeply intimate fuck. I love it. Please welcome today’s anonymous guest blogger…

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This is a very silly sexy thing I wrote back in 2014, around the time I quit my day job and started sex blogging full-time. Back then, I used to have quite a few horny email exchanges like this: part ‘update my other half on my working day’ and part ‘horn for what I’ll do to him when I get home’. Something reminded me of it a few months ago, and I thought it’d be fun to throw it up as audio. Big thanks to Luke (aka @Beardynoise on Twitter) who very kindly helped me bring it to life when we were in the studio.

Mail to: John

Subject: This evening

Hey, just a quick one – I’m going to be back late tonight. Work drinks. Anything you want me to pick up on the way home?

X

p.s. Can’t stop thinking about that thing you did yesterday.

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