There are two levels on which I’m enjoying dinner. On the surface, the main conversation – catching up with friends I’ve not seen in years. Beneath the table, something even better – his thigh nudging against mine. The oh-so-casual initial pressure that could easily be written off as an accident conjures a flash of possibility as I realise that… yeah… this guy just might want to fuck me. A rush of teenage horn flushes across my skin as I decide that I’m gonna nudge him back to find out for sure. Meeting his pressure, thigh-against-thigh, I remind myself that this guy has a wife.

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It’s always exciting to introduce a brand new guest blogger, and today’s even more thrilling for me because this guest has recently launched a blog of her own! Say hi to @goddessdeeva, who runs the INGENIOUSLY titled Duct Tape and Daddy Issues, which you should check out if your appetite is whetted by this fabulously fuck-hungry and politically powerful guest piece – about attitudes to sex and why it’s important to question the dodgy messages we’re given about it.

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There’s plenty of erotica that doesn’t require special effort to write consent: the story and the way you tell it is enough. If I write a piece about how much I love sucking a particular guy’s dick, I’m not especially concerned with whether the audience will be thinking ‘but wait! Is the man whose dick you’re sucking consenting to that?!’ Firstly because people tend to assume consent when the genders are this way round (which they absolutely shouldn’t, but that’s a different blog post), secondly because one of the key things I love about it – and therefore one of the key threads of the story – is the reaction of the person receiving. I’ll write their ‘mmm yeahs’ and ‘oh fuck please don’t stops’ into the text, because that’s part and parcel of the hotness. The same cannot be said of certain kink-focused stories, especially when that kink is consensual non-consent.

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I’ve been focusing a little more on audio porn in 2022 than I did in 2021, with the help of an incredible team of writers, readers and Patreons. So to entertain you during this weird little bit between Christmas and New Year, I thought I’d do a round-up of some of the fabulous audio porn that has been published here in 2022.

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Earlier this week, my best mate asked me if I’d tried using ChatGPT to see if it could accurately do my job. I am fascinated by machines that can learn, because I enjoy exploring the philosophical implications of computers that can genuinely think: the same thing that drew me to sex robots a few years ago now has me salivating over the possibility that a chat bot might one day achieve personhood. But in today’s world we are less worried about AI ‘achieving personhood’ than ‘stealing our jobs’. So… is ChatGPT good enough that one day it might take my job? Can robots write sex blogs? I thought I’d test it out to see whether I was in trouble.

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