Girl on the Net

One of the things I often hear guys complain about when it comes to dating is that they got rejected (or sometimes ghosted) without understanding why. They wouldn’t mind a ‘no’ if there was some obvious incompatibility, but as far as they’re concerned they didn’t do anything ‘wrong’. Bear with me here dudes, because you might not like my answer, but if you’re earnestly asking this question then I have a few explanations you could consider.

As with all of my posts, this one is heavily influenced by my experience – I mainly date men so my perspective comes from there. I also want to acknowledge that one of the reasons I struggled when dating recently was because my heart wasn’t in it. This was in large part down to personal shit, which I addressed a little in this post – it’s not you, it’s me. So the following piece doesn’t tell the full story of why I struggled to connect with anyone, and you should weigh it accordingly. I almost didn’t publish it at all, but in the end I decided that it still covers some useful ground that addresses a complaint I’ve heard a fair bit from guys in the comment section, and my response might be useful to those of you who are asking in earnest. Equally (or perhaps more) importantly, I hope it will be reassuring to women who repeatedly come up against the same problems I do.

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Partway through a kiss – a good one, a promising one – she breaks off and holds her face close to his. Whispers:

“Just so you know, I don’t fuck on the first date.”

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We’re properly spoilt this Halloween with not one but TWO fantastic guest pieces. This gorgeous story is longer than the posts I tend to publish, but when Jaimie (of Jaimie’s Erotica – follow on BlueSky here!) pitched me this I found it simultaneously dreamlike and creepy in equal measure, and I was sucked in to it deeply enough that I reckon a lot of you will be as well. It’s compelling! So bookmark it for later if you’re at work, then grab a cup of tea or glass of wine and settle down for a long read on a dark night…

Note that this is Halloween erotica, and as such it is designed to creep you out as well as arouse you – it contains themes of blood, teeth and devourment.

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I am fucking GLEEFUL about bringing you today’s amazing guest work. Not just a written guest blog from the fabulous NymphoStimToy, but audio too, and as a special treat for Halloween this one is creepy as fuck. After her recent incredible guest blog about playing with fear during sex and kink, she offered a piece for the season that would focus on genuinely scaring you. No spoilers, but if you want the full effect get your headphones on and click ‘play’ on the audio. Huge thanks to her for sharing something that manages to be hot, terrifying and atmospheric all at once. I am in awe.

Note that this is a piece of Halloween erotica, and as such it’s designed to play on your fears as well as your fantasies. Expect tentacles, devourment, extremely intense fucking, tongues and teeth and a build-up to something creepy. No spoilers, but if that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea please skip this piece.

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It is very rare for me to have an acoustic wank these days. By which I mean ‘be able to orgasm without either getting fucked by an actual human, or using a sex toy’. Gone are the days when I could make myself come using one finger and a tiny rubbing motion on my clit – subtle so as not to disturb a roommate. And we’re decades away from me being able to come with one hand in the shower – kneeling in the bath rather than standing, so I didn’t fall over at any key moments. These days, unless I have a Doxy or a Zumio, ideally with a dildo to accompany it and give me something to clamp round, the chances of me coming before my hand cramps up are slim to fuck-all. Fingers alone are no longer enough. I need more stimulation. And recently I realised that when I say ‘stimulation’, that doesn’t always have to be a sex toy or a cock. It turns out words work too.

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