Sometimes my sexy blogs end with an orgasm. Other times they don’t. Sometimes they are neatly rounded off with a Scrubs-voiceover-style conclusion, wrapping up the whole experience with a neat and quotable line about love or empathy or deep-throating or what have you. But other times I leave them hanging, like on a recent post about getting fucked by a machine which ended just as I started speculating on whether my partner’s dick could fit inside me while I rode it. Someone in the comments said they’d like to know what happened next, and seeing as this is a question I get asked a lot about the sexy blog posts, I thought I’d have a crack at answering it.

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I live in fear of injuring my wanking hand. Or hands, plural, now that my best orgasms come from using two of my favourite sex toys simultaneously. But this week’s guest blogger, LoveLustLondon (@LoveLustLondon on Twitter), is looking on the bright side. He’s here to tell you how a hand injury has helped him rediscover different kinds of masturbation, and gain a new appreciation for different masturbation techniques…

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It’s that time of year again, in which I get to let my inner creepy goth out and write some Halloween erotica. Last year I did sex with zombies, the previous year it was a succubus (sort of), and this year – thanks to suggestions and ideas from some lovely people on Twitter – I’m tackling a creature from the deep. If you’d prefer to listen rather than read, it’s also available as audio – click ‘listen now’ above, or head to the audio porn page if you’d like to hear more sexy stories read aloud. I’m always a bit nervous and uncertain about writing fiction, but these Halloween erotica pieces are always a genuine pleasure to write, so I hope I can manage to give you a creepy shiver or two.

Content note: this story is written for Halloween, and is designed to be a tale of creepiness with a bit of sex thrown in. As a result it contains some themes that you might find disturbing: references to drowning, self-harm and suicidal ideation.

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The first time I did this, I was alone. I’ve done lots of unusual sexy things on my own: from self-bondage with tight corsets to masturbation challenges and anything else that might keep my horny mind entertained. But few things have felt quite as unusual as lying on my side on the bed, one hand rummaging behind me, and sliding a plug into my arse in the name of ‘butt plug training.’

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Meet the Cowgirl. The Cowgirl is a giant vibrator. In fact, it’s a vibrator so large it technically counts as furniture. A huge, saddle-shaped, sit-upon vibrator with power settings that range from ‘gentle crack massage’ to ‘is that a new crack in the ceiling plaster?!’ I squealed, I moaned, and I rode the fuck out of this thing. Only in my wildest sex dreams have I been so relentlessly fucked by a machine. Let’s get stuck into this…

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