How many different butt plugs does the average person need? My gut instinct would be to say two or three – so you have a bit of variety on size and material if you want it, but you’re not struggling for butt plug storage space. But then, as I was auditing my sex toy collection in preparation for writing a wish list, I realised that I have far more than three, and I still haven’t got all the different butt plugs I really want. My most used sex toy is the Doxy, and I’d cite floggers as my favourite thing to collect, but I have at least 5 different kinds of butt plug, and I still want more to complete my ideal set. They come in so many different varieties that I can illustrate exactly why I want so many. So although I suck at actually reviewing sex toys, I can definitely take you on a journey of all the different butt plugs I want. Ready? Let’s go.

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Wanking while you’re in a relationship: do you do it? Probably. Do you talk about it? Maybe not. There’s an unusual squeamishness about discussing masturbation when you’re going out with someone, most likely based on a hefty dollop of sex shame combined with a misconception about the purpose of wanking itself. Although there are lots of reasons to masturbate, some people still see it as an outlet for sexual frustration. The theory goes that wanking is a substitute for a partner, so if you have a partner there’s no longer any ‘need’ to do it. These people often – though not always – make their partner feel guilty for wanking. In turn, people like me make them feel guilty for doing that, and the cycle of guilt continues until we all have a really big fight.

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During that down-time between Christmas and new year, we’re meant to take stock of things which went well over the last 12 months. So although 2016 has basically been an absolute shitshow of a year, there are some lovely highlights which I’m going to wrap round me like a cosy blanket to try and keep the hellish nightmares out. Tomorrow I’ll be doing a round-up of the most popular guest blogs of 2016, but for now here’s a list of the most popular sexy blog posts from me, as measured by Google Analytics. Get stuck in, share if you like them, and feel free to tell me in the comments if there are particular things you’d like to see more of as we welcome 2017.

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Relationships are often full of uncertainty. We meet someone we like, we fall for them, and we wonder – what exactly are they to me? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? Fuck buddy? Lover? Person-I’m-dating-temporarily? The good people – the ones who are decent and kind and open and trustworthy – will either know what you are or they’ll help you work it out. You’ll have those giggling deep conversations over a bottle of wine or a pot of coffee at 8 am, and you’ll say:

“What are we, exactly? Lovers, fuck buddies, boyfriends or…?”

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This week’s guest blog is by an anonymous gainer and feeder. Gaining and feeding is a kink I’ve always been fascinated by, and his overview does an incredible job of painting a picture of just what it’s like to have this kink. The joys of gaining weight as well as the internal (and external) conflicts that come along with this kink. As with all guest blogs, I’m especially honoured that he’s chosen to share his experience here – please do comment if you can to thank him for sharing his story.

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