“It’s hot when two girls get off, but it doesn’t work the other way round.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know. Like women watching a guy play with another guy’s dick. It doesn’t have the same effect.” 

I’ve had this conversation too many times. Far too many times. There’s a longer blog to post another day about the fact that straight-guy sexuality is so tightly woven into our culture that often dudes struggle to get their heads round the fact that, you know, they can be objects of lust just as easily as they’re subjects. But I’ll bore you about that another day.

For now, in response to the person who said this to me, allow me to describe an interaction so hot it makes my toes clench, even just remembering it.

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Yesterday, Deborah Orr wrote in the Guardian about ‘creepy’ sex robots. She began with a statement from Noel Sharkey – a robotics professor at Sheffield Uni – who earlier in the week had terrified people by claiming that one day people might lose their virginities to robots. Shock! Horror! Misery! Woe! Another way to perpetuate the myth of virginity as a valuable jewel which people must save to give to someone special!

Deborah questioned this, which is good, but she then launched in to a lot of the same disappointing fearmongering about sex tech that I’ve seen before. Let’s have a look. And then a rant.

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It’s really hard to write anything this morning that isn’t just ‘DREAMS OF SPANKING’, because I am struggling to contain my excitement and delight: Dreams of Spanking is BACK. Pandora Blake, after a long and arduous fight against UK porn censorship, has now won the battle, and her incredible site – Dreams of Spanking – will soon be back online.

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Two things! I have been away all weekend, at the incredible EroticonLive. I’ll do a proper write up at some point, because I have a million thoughts and lovely things to say about the amazing sessions I went to. But in the meantime here are two links to things that you need to read: one sexy and shiver-inducing, and the other practical and wise.

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“Let’s get some dick in you.”

There are two ways I can tell this story. If you’ve not read the sexy version then pop over and read that before you look at this one – I suspect it won’t have quite the same effect if you read them the other way around. I’ve been wanting to do this ‘two versions’ thing for a while, because it’s as honest an answer as I can find to a very frequently asked question: is what you write true?

It is. But storytelling, like sex, is often about the angle.

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