Recently I wrote up some instructions on kinky DIY: how to turn your coffee table into a spanking bench. This post is the inevitable write-up of the first time we used it. It’s filthy, because this table was made for fucking, so probably best not to read it at work or in front of your grandchildren.

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“You’ll stand in the corner until we’re done here,” he tells me. His voice is flat – almost a monotone – and it’s doubly hard to assess how angry he is because I don’t really know this man well. That’s the thrill of it, really: not knowing how he’ll react. He is a borderline stranger, and I deliberately riled him up in front of everyone. And now I’m standing in the corner with my nose pressed against the wall, my skirt hiked up around my waist like a naughty schoolgirl, and a good long wait while I anticipate what he might do. My heart beats in my throat and with my face hidden like this, I grin.

This blog post involves school role play – albeit very unrealistic school role play – including corporal punishment. If that’s not your thing look away now.

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In any society, there’ll be things to which you cannot legally consent. Most UK-based kinksters will be probably be aware of the Spanner case, in which a group of men were prosecuted for various crimes including assault, despite the fact that the participants had consented to the activity. It’s a really interesting discussion this, because it tackles a whole range of things that are interesting to think about including consent, power, and personal freedom. To what, exactly, are we allowed to consent?

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Meet Cara Thereon (@thereon_cara): an incredible sex blogger who I had the pleasure of hanging out with at Eroticon this year. Cara is in what some would call a ‘DD/lg’ relationship – she uses the honorific ‘Daddy’ and refers to herself as a ‘little’, and she regularly plays within this dynamic. I’m saying this up front so that those of you who might find this uncomfortable can click away now, and also so I can state really clearly up front that both of the people who feature in this piece are firmly over the age of 18. It’s a tricky play dynamic to talk about, and an intensely personal thing to describe, and I am so grateful to Cara for stopping by to give such an intimate and thoughtful look into her relationship, and why it works for her.

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Remember a few months ago when I turned my Fleshlight Launch into a spunk-milking machine? Well, I decided I needed a new project, so I got stuck in to some more kinky DIY: turning my coffee table into a customised spanking bench. I’ve wanted something like this for a while, but buying nice, heavy, padded furniture to get thoroughly fucked on can seriously bugger your wallet. A proper bondage horse can set you back over $1,000 (about £740) and even just a flat, padded BDSM board that you could put on a table somewhere costs nearly $300 (£220) So I wanted to see if I could do it cheaper myself.

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