I’m a big fan of meta sex advice: the tips that don’t tell you exactly what to do in bed, but instead guide you on how to better communicate with your partner. Recently one of my favourite sex writers, Joan Price, gave a perfect example of this kind of meta sex advice, and it just so happened to dovetail into a story I couldn’t work out how to frame from my own life, so it felt like a great opportunity to remind you all to follow her and read her amazing work.

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My bedsheets smell like last night’s fucking. Well, fucking which lasted the whole of yesterday if I’m honest. Then once again this morning at roughly 5 am. We barebacked: my favourite kind of fuck. Rock-solid, exquisitely-shaped, diamond-hard cock sliding inside me, bare. Leaking precum. I could feel every single atom of his dick against every ridge of the inside of my aching cunt. His flesh meeting mine, stretching me out. Sensing, as he slid into my body, just how desperately and urgently wet I was. We bareback fucked to a soundtrack of tunes that he selected and I utterly loved while I clung to that man like my life depended on it and begged him to never stop doing what he was doing. He looked into my eyes and whispered: “you’re fucking incredible” and kissed me with a kind of gentle awe. This is a real thing which happened to me yesterday. This man fucked me like he meant it. And oh God, put me out of my misery now please: if this man turns out not to mean it, I will shatter.

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A lovely woman set me up on a blind date. Yes, my life is like a film now and I’m very grateful for that. How do you reckon the blind date went? For context, I can tell you that I had met this lady precisely once in my life, and during that meeting we’d spoken for less than two hours. She’s a very warm, open person though so our conversation went to fun places really quickly. We commiserated with each other about the terrible state of The Apps these days, and I told her about my dating challenges: why I’m trying to meet men in real life rather than repeatedly bang my head against the brick walls of Feeld and OKC. Three days later, this woman I barely knew texted me: I have a potential date option for you. (Yes I work fast). This magic dating fairy then went on to tell me that the guy in question was funny, sweet, asked questions and that a mutual friend of ours had approved the match. She wanted to know if I was still up for trying out the whole ‘blind date’ idea. I said what you’d expect me to say: Omg seriously?! I am SO IN. Predictions: what do you think?

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