Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

(more…)

Welcome readers, I like to imagine you’re on the edge of your seats, eagerly anticipating the climax of my efficient dating experience with a man who kindly fulfilled my last-minute request for a date, then came with me to a Travelodge to make out on one of the beds. Quite a few people replied excitedly to part one expecting porn in part two, thus falling into my cunning and evil trap. I wanted to raise your hopes nice and high because that’s the energy I brought with me on this date – it’s the energy I bring on every date. I wasn’t expecting anything, but naturally it would have been a welcome joy to have a sexy dude put it nice and hard inside me. The resulting disappointment will give you a true taste of my dating life because brace yourselves: this man well and truly talked himself out of a fuck.

(more…)

We’ve all got to start somewhere, right? And sometimes when we’re starting out, it’s helpful to have someone with a little (or a lot) more experience to guide us on the journey. Today’s blog is by the wonderful @jamiebear (who runs the Gay News Archive Project and has written amazing things in the past about the hotness of someone’s scent and being a proud submissive). And he’s here to tell a super hot story about fucking a new Dom who was tentatively stepping in to kink, and needed a helping hand on how to do that well…

(more…)

Normally I struggle when it comes to Valentine’s Day content, but this year I have a whole bunch of pent-up dating energy that I’m not really putting anywhere so roll up your sleeves because I reckon I’ve got a banger. Here are 12 cute and sexy date ideas for Valentine’s Day, complete with links to places you can buy stuff if you’re in the mood to get presents for your partners and want to support this site by buying from the people who help keep it alive.

Some of these links are sponsored, which means if you click through and/or buy you’re helping to support this website, and that is the BEST Valentine’s Day gift you could give me. THANKS!

(more…)

I’m so delighted to welcome this guest blogger back – he wrote a fabulous post towards the end of last year about sex and disability, and the value of focusing more on a sexual journey than the destination. It’s a gorgeous piece, please do check it out. Today he’s back with a recommendation – an idea for a playful use of sex tech that could help some people defeat that pernicious inner voice that whispers about inadequacy. Because sometimes sex toys really are ‘toys’ – they help us understand that sex is supposed to be fun. And while we’re having fun, that inner voice sometimes goes quiet…

(more…)