For ages I’ve had it on my guest blog page that I’d love to read guest blogs that contain “eloquent disagreement/rebuttal of any of my own strong and angry opinions” but people rarely ever take me up on it. Maybe they think I will bite, which is unfair because honestly I usually prefer to be the one who gets bitten. BUT NOW I HAVE ONE! Rebuttal! Disagreement! And the hottest kind of disagreement, too! Imagine me rubbing my hands together with absolute glee today, because the fabulous @OxyFromSG (of ‘I sucked my own cock‘ fame, who also writes fabulous erotica as Alec Lake) is here with a guest post in defence of 69ing. The horny position in which two people are top-and-tail and going to town on each other’s genitals is also very often at the top of people’s lists of ‘overrated sex acts’, mine included. So I’m absolutely delighted (and thoroughly aroused) to have the chance to read his defence of the humble (or not-so-humble) 69….

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London has a population of almost nine million. It is one of the most vibrant, exciting, busy cities in the world. At the same time, most of the people who live here (myself included) have an instinctive distrust of strangers, and a powerful desire to not be bothered by one. So how do you meet people in this context? In the past I’ve relied heavily on dating apps. But as most people on The Apps agree, dating apps fucking suck these days. Let’s examine some potential ways to get laid without dating apps, with the aim that by the end of the year I will have DEFINITELY TRIED ALL OF THEM and if I haven’t you can tell me off for wussing out.

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Regular readers will already be familiar with Jenby’s excellent work. I’m going to keep the intro for this very short indeed, it’s just here to let you know that the following contains references to transphobia and violence, and I’m extremely grateful to her for tackling this. Here’s a piece by Jenby about her first time with a cis woman.
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There’s an ache that I have not yet told you about On Here. It throbs beneath the surface of my every other need. I have no idea if it’s something I’m legitimately allowed to feel, or if publicly acknowledging it is silly and self-defeating. It isn’t something I can actively chase, and it will definitely scare a few men. But let’s have a go anyway: what I ache for is decades of sex. With the same person. I am up for being open, being polyamorous, whatever relationship structure best fits my own needs and his. But fundamentally, powerfully, deeply, I yearn for long-term intimacy. As my life marches on, I find myself growing colder and colder at the thought of sex with total strangers. These days I dream of a man who I can fuck for decades.

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I’m delighted to welcome Emory Oakley to the guest slot today! Emory is a queer trans man who writes fantastic educational content about gender and sexuality over on his blog. He got in touch with a pitch about dating while trans, specifically about how getting hit on by a gay man validated his trans identity. I’m really honoured that he’s up for sharing his story here, and if you’d like to find out more do click the links to some of the other fantastic pieces he’s written elsewhere on all the details of his journey in learning about how own identity.

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