Meet the Cowgirl. The Cowgirl is a giant vibrator. In fact, it’s a vibrator so large it technically counts as furniture. A huge, saddle-shaped, sit-upon vibrator with power settings that range from ‘gentle crack massage’ to ‘is that a new crack in the ceiling plaster?!’ I squealed, I moaned, and I rode the fuck out of this thing. Only in my wildest sex dreams have I been so relentlessly fucked by a machine. Let’s get stuck into this…

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