When I first requested a cute little butt plug starter kit from my site sponsor WhippleTickle (seamless promo, well done me) I had a plan in mind: I knew exactly who I’d use it with, and how. But for reasons I’ll explain later, that won’t happen now. So I basically have two options if I want to fulfill my promise to one of the kind companies that helps keep the lights on here at GOTN HQ. I could write you a straight-up review where I give this product marks out of ten based on basic details or… write two thousand words of horny butt plug porn then chuck a link and discount at the end for you to click when you’re all done wanking. And… you know… have you met me?

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This gorgeous femdom dating fantasy is written and read beautifully by The Barefoot Sub, and originally appeared on her website. Note that it contains pain, spunk-milking and pegging.

Dating, what a nuisance it is. Or maybe it’s the looking for a date that I find so awful? Having to network, usually online, initially before meeting for a coffee at a neutral location. So much posturing, posing, preening. Being vulnerable and allowing others to see the real ‘you’ appears to be actively discouraged. So very far removed from who I am, not to mention being the opposite of what I want in a partner. That all changed when I met you.

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1. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked anyone with a strap on, so there’s an element of novelty. I’ve half forgotten how it feels to slide inside. I’m keen to remember.

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I think ‘inspection’ (of any kind, be it kinky inspection, medical inspection, or something between those two) is one of the kinks that I have started to love more myself since commissioning other people’s writing. I don’t think that you can necessarily ‘teach’ anyone to be into your kinks, but I do think that my own sexuality is broad enough that if you describe something with lust and precision, I’ll probably get horny for yours even if it’s never occurred to me to wank about it before. Today’s guest blog is one of those – it grabbed me by the wrist and led me into the hotness of a clinical, detached, yet also deeply erotic examination. Huge thanks to Sasha for sharing it – this is his first ever piece for the site and I’d love to encourage him to publish more of his writing, because this is a stunningly hot story. Note that the post contains medical themes, and although the examination is consensual, the way it happens hints at questionable consent for individual acts.

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Apropos of absolutely nothing, I’m going to tell you a story about this one time (ages ago) when I fucked the furniture. Specifically a bed. And technically, properly, I guess if you want to get right down to the nitty-gritty detail of the thing, it wasn’t just ‘me fucking a bed’, it was ‘us’. Because while I shagged the bed with my excellent and adventurous vagina, the man I loved was having a valiant go at simultaneously fucking me up the arse. Let’s do this.

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