I don’t want to write this post. The very idea of dragging the words from my head makes me want to cringe into a tiny ball. But I’m going to talk about butt plug accidents anyway. My reasons will become clear towards the end of the post but before I begin, a warning and a request. Warning: this post contains scenes that are a bit uncomfortable, especially if you’re not into anal stuff and are easily panicked. Request: if you know me in real life, I would genuinely rather you didn’t read this. It’s mostly because I feel I can be funnier and more honest about this incident if I don’t have to anticipate jokey conversations about it in the pub, during which I have to relive all the feelings that this incident triggered in my fluttery, panic-laden heart. So. If you know me, don’t read this. If you choose to read it anyway, pretend you haven’t. Deal? OK let’s go.

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This D/s erotica, by sex blogger Ella Scandal, originally appeared on her website. It is read aloud here by Molly Moore. Note: this story contains scenes of extreme dominance and submission, including elements of consensual non-consent. If that’s not your cup of tea head to the audio porn page for a range of other stories that you might prefer. If that is your cup of tea, remember that this is an erotic fantasy – not a guide for life. 

Five hours. I’d been sitting on the floor for five hours. The incessant tick…tick…tick of the clock was loud in the bare walled room, slowly driving me insane, reminding me of how long I’d been made to wait.

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On Sundays, we do anal. It’s not a hard-and-fast rule, although naturally we’re hoping that with enough ‘getting fucked in the ass’ practice for me, ‘hard and fast’ will eventually be the general tone of each occasion. But before we get to that point, we need patience, time, and preparation. A lot of preparation.

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You’ve probably heard of the Doxy wand, and Doxy Number 3, and if you’re into ridiculously and intensely powerful, rumbly vibrations the chances are you’ll have one of these beautiful sex toys already. But did you know Doxy butt plugs also exist? Please have a seat (on an inferior butt plug, if you must) and let me yell enthusiastically at you about how great these butt plugs are.

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He taps 7 mana to boost a dragon hatchling, flying it over my beasts like they mean nothing. With a wry grin and a look of barely-disguised glee, he puts on a faux-sympathetic voice and tells me: “Looks like that butt plug’s going in your ass.” Sex challenge Magic is the best Magic.

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