This week’s fabulously sexy guest blog is an extract from Kirstyn Smith’s novella, The Twelve Lays of Christmas. I absolutely adore the idea behind this playful book – from the blurb:

“Ivy is stuck in a rut. She hasn’t hooked up with anyone since her last terrible relationship ended more than a year ago. That is, until her bff Aoife comes up with a challenge. The Twelve Lays of Christmas: hook up with twelve different people before Christmas Day.”

YES. As someone who is keen to give myself challenges and side quests, I was immediately hooked by the pitch, and then completely enamoured of the extract she sent for me to share with you – it’s sexy, thoughtful, playful and all the things I fucking love about great sex writing. For context, this extract features the eighth person Ivy has hooked up with since the start of the challenge, and we join the story shortly after an encounter with someone who had a fetish for popping balloons. This next guy? Well… he’s into slime. Like, really into it. What I love about this story is not just how fucking joyful it is – reminding any Channel 4 documentary makers out there that you can explore unusual kinks in a non-shaming way – but also the fact that the author, Kirstyn Smith, tells me it’s based on a true story. Enjoy!
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There are some kinks that I can’t personally cater to, but that I know a lot of you would enjoy reading about. And, as I am proud to have a larger-than-average number of readers who identify as Massive Nerds, I think Star Trek might be one of them. Today’s guest blogger Adeline Panamaroff offered an extract from a short story about a hot date at the cinema. It’s from a longer piece entitled ‘Breaking Through Nurture To True Nature’ and not only did it press my nostalgic getting-touched-up-in-front-of-a-film buttons, and some buttons that I know will be hot for you to have pressed if you like casual sex and interactions with near-strangers, it also happened to revolve around a Star Trek showing. So, nerds: you’re very welcome. Enjoy this sexy short story!

Note: this story is fiction. In real life you should always be careful, when playing sexually, to ensure you have the consent of those around you. Springing sex on people by surprise is unethical and sometimes pretty traumatic. It is more than possible to enjoy things in fantasy without putting anyone at risk in real life. 

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Partway through a kiss – a good one, a promising one – she breaks off and holds her face close to his. Whispers:

“Just so you know, I don’t fuck on the first date.”

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This gorgeous story about sex and sweat is written and read by Robyn of RobynEatsEverything. Note: this is a work of fiction and a fantasy scenario; please don’t approach Robyn in the gym.

As I lift my arms up above my head, I feel a stream of cool sweat trickling down the nape of my neck, finding a cleft in my skin in which to swim lower between my shoulder blades, the small of my back, and into the gape of my leggings to the valley between my cheeks. The dampness of my skin would suggest the aircon in the gym isn’t working today; there’s no frigid breeze relieving my cherry-red cheeks. Working through this set, I’m more aware of other little streams crawling down my body and pooling in the most uncomfortable places; under my tits, my arse, under my belly, between my thighs.

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This super hot story about fucking the boss is written and read by Robyn, of RobynEatsEverything.

“I’ve always thought your tits would be great to fuck.” His breath is hot in my ear as he whispers this; hot with North London beer, fags, and arrogance.

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