As far as feats of sexual contortionism go, I thought Oxy had climbed the giddiest possible height when he wrote this guest blog about managing to suck his own cock. But I was wrong. Self-administered oral sex, it turns out, isn’t just for those with dicks. Today, Sara Cane (@saracanewrites) has a blow-by-blow (or should that be ‘lick-by-lick’?) account of how she used to lick her own clit. The whys, the hows, and the wildly impressive feats of self-contortion.

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This gorgeous story about impulse alleyway sex is written by Nooky and originally appeared on her website. It is read here by Sherryl Blu. 

The cocktails are good. Glancing across the table at her is better. She’s wearing a tailored shirt in pine needle green and her hair is loose around her face and whenever, like now, she’s trying to remember a detail of an anecdote her mouth puckers up a little to one side, like a thread’s tugging up her cheek.

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Kate is one of those writers whose work makes me have to go for a lie-down and a wank. I mean… you probably don’t need to know much more than that, right? Hazard of the job: sometimes browsing other people’s work to share the love with other bloggers, or record something especially filth as audio, means I get cuntpunched with lust and have to give myself a break. Sugar Baby is Kate’s Christmas present to me, and to us all. It’s filth: I adore it.

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This glorious medical inspection erotica, by Joanne Summers, originally appeared on her website. It is read aloud here by Leo DiLuca. Quick content note: this story features inspection, exhibitionism, and medical teaching in a context which would not be medically ethical in real life. It is a fantasy, written for sexiness, not a lesson in how to teach anatomy.  

It was just like any other day. Kathy had got up early, then rushed around to get the kids ready for school. A trip to the supermarket followed the school run before getting home to do the housework. Finally, she had some time to herself, and so she curled up on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate and the local newspaper. She scanned the articles as she sipped at her drink, flicking through the pages absentmindedly.

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Meet the Cowgirl. The Cowgirl is a giant vibrator. In fact, it’s a vibrator so large it technically counts as furniture. A huge, saddle-shaped, sit-upon vibrator with power settings that range from ‘gentle crack massage’ to ‘is that a new crack in the ceiling plaster?!’ I squealed, I moaned, and I rode the fuck out of this thing. Only in my wildest sex dreams have I been so relentlessly fucked by a machine. Let’s get stuck into this…

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