Most of my sex fantasies include some anal fucking somewhere: pushing back against someone’s cock to slide it all the way in… being told I’m a ‘good girl’ for taking something bigger than I usually would… or just being told to lube up and brace myself. Unnngh… hot. And yet despite this I can’t remember the last time I actually had anal sex.

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There are lots of reasons why you shouldn’t share pictures of your own dick with people who haven’t expressly asked to see it. This subject has been covered so much now that I hope those who have dicks understand exactly how not to be a dick about nude selfies/dick pics etc. But today I’m not talking to these people: I’m talking to people who receive dick pics and share them publicly because they want to shame the person who sent them. Brace yourselves because this might be a little bit controversial, but I’m hoping by the end of it I can persuade one or two of you that publishing someone else’s dick pic – however good your intentions – is not a good idea.

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I am ridiculously excited about today’s guest blog – as you can probably tell by the fact I’m posting it on Monday as opposed to Friday when other guest blogs go up. Valery North – who has written here before on how your physical responses to sex toys can change as you get older – has just published a book! Not to Choose is a BDSM relationship novel about kinky sex, feminism and one person’s spiritual faith. And the extract that Valery has sent to give you a taster of the book is ridiculously hot, and very much my cup of tea. Or my cup of ‘vigorous, intense BDSM fuck’, if you will…

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When you’re working in porn, how hard is it to get hard? How do performers ensure that they can get and keep erections, sometimes for long stretches at a time? I’ve heard people discussing these questions a lot before. But today’s guest blogger – Marcus Quillan – is here to look at these questions from a different angle: what are the expectations of cis male porn performers in the industry? And what do these expectations tell us about toxic masculinity in porn, and the welfare of performers?

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I’m a big fan of build-up and anticipation. This period of time just before Christmas is often more fun than Christmas itself for me, because while it exists only in my mind it can pretty much always be perfect. The coolest Christmas presents look brilliant under the tree when they’re wrapped, but in the afterglow of the opening frenzy there’s always the worry that the amazing thing you picked out to give your special someone will end up disappointing them. Without the shiny paper it’ll be mundane and obvious. Potentially even embarrassing. The same is true of sex fantasies.

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