Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

(more…)

Welcome readers, I like to imagine you’re on the edge of your seats, eagerly anticipating the climax of my efficient dating experience with a man who kindly fulfilled my last-minute request for a date, then came with me to a Travelodge to make out on one of the beds. Quite a few people replied excitedly to part one expecting porn in part two, thus falling into my cunning and evil trap. I wanted to raise your hopes nice and high because that’s the energy I brought with me on this date – it’s the energy I bring on every date. I wasn’t expecting anything, but naturally it would have been a welcome joy to have a sexy dude put it nice and hard inside me. The resulting disappointment will give you a true taste of my dating life because brace yourselves: this man well and truly talked himself out of a fuck.

(more…)

I’m so delighted to welcome this guest blogger back – he wrote a fabulous post towards the end of last year about sex and disability, and the value of focusing more on a sexual journey than the destination. It’s a gorgeous piece, please do check it out. Today he’s back with a recommendation – an idea for a playful use of sex tech that could help some people defeat that pernicious inner voice that whispers about inadequacy. Because sometimes sex toys really are ‘toys’ – they help us understand that sex is supposed to be fun. And while we’re having fun, that inner voice sometimes goes quiet…

(more…)

This fabulous kinky piece about writing on skin, and being owned, is written and read by JM Seaborn of Written In Kink. Note that this story contains ‘Daddy’ as an honorific – all participants are consenting adults.

It’s a fun game. Each morning, I make her sit on the bed in her towel. I kiss her forehead and tell her to close her eyes. And then I write a word, high on her inner thigh. She’s not allowed to look until her first break at work. That’s the rule.

(more…)

I’m so excited to bring you this week’s guest blog, from a brand new guest blogger who has already submitted a second (excellent) post that’s coming up in January! He’s here to talk to you today about sex and disability, specifically fulfilling his hunger for kissing, skin-to-skin contact, and other forms of intimacy, and the ways in which his disability makes him focus more on the journey rather than the destination…

(more…)