Last week I wrote a piece about wanting to be loved. I think acknowledging the desire to be loved is useful to me, and it’s not something I’ve always been able to do. It feels shameful, somehow, to yearn for love. Like if I want it too much then I’m desperate, needy, incomplete without the validation of a romantic partner. But having thought about this a lot recently, I’ve realised that acknowledging this desire has been a net positive. Good for self-acceptance, and perhaps even for my self-worth too. Because being up front about how much I want to be loved means I also have to face the important caveat that comes hand-in-hand with that desire: I do not want to be loved at any cost.

This one’s long, waffly, and incredibly gendered. Sorry about that. 

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I get a lot of comments from men who self-identify as ‘shy guys’, and I’m a sucker for a shy guy myself. I love being privileged enough to see the vulnerable side of someone who is usually nervous to let that part of themselves show. This week’s guest blogger – a self-confessed ‘shy guy’ – wanted to write about a time when he managed to open up, let go, and show his lover a phenomenally good time without nerves getting in the way. Take it away MM…

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Regular readers will know that I am a sucker for stories about long-term relationships where sex is a shared joy. I wrote about this a few years ago, and the longing I have for someone I can be with long term, who embarks on sex as a playful adventure. While I tear myself to pieces in the hunt for that, it’s wonderful to hear stories from people who have found their own ways to navigate intimacy in long-term relationships, especially if they’re willing to share the ups and downs of their journey. So I’m delighted to welcome Sean Owen, who writes about intimacy, curiosity and the evolution of long term love and has been with his wife Sophie for 24 years, to do exactly that.

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I talk about sex more than the average person. Hopefully that’s not a shock to any of you. Even before starting this sex blog, I was well-known in my friendship group for being the one who Talks About Sex. If someone asked me what I got up to at the weekend, and ‘what I got up to’ included some kinky roleplay with my partner and a friend, I’d probably include that in my roundup of life updates. Sex is part of my life – an important part – and if someone wants to be friends with me, they have to accept that when they ask me ‘how are you?’ the answer might come back: ‘horny!’. This isn’t something I think about very often, because I’m rarely prompted to consider it until I meet new people. At that point, when they ask what I got up to at the weekend, I have to temper my instinct to reply ‘eating crisps and wanking’ or whatever it might be. But a while ago one of my excellent Patreons asked me if I ever get embarrassed when I talk about sex, and it felt like a great opportunity to get nerdily detailed about the answer.

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This phenomenal piece of audio porn is written and read by NymphoStimToy. 

He obviously wants me. His eyes wander across my entire body, seizing every opportunity to explore any nook or curve that shows itself to him.

But he keeps his hands off because I haven’t said yes.

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