Tag Archives: communication
Sex tips from blog readers: what are your best sex tips?
Recently I ran a competition on Twitter with my awesome site sponsor The Pleasure Garden. We wanted to do something a bit more fun than the usual ‘retweet to win’ competition, so instead we asked people to contribute their best sex tips: what advice have you picked up during your own sexual play that you’d like to pass on to other people? The results were amazing, and although the winner is being announced over on The Pleasure Garden’s blog, I was so delighted by the fabulous suggestions that I wanted to show them all a bit of extra love here, and share some of the wisdom that people were kind enough to chip in. Here’s a selection of your best sex tips…
My Massive ****: Channel 4 please sort your shit out
There’s a documentary currently running on All4 called ‘My Massive ****’ – it’s about living with a huge dick and dealing with some of the down-sides of having one. I’m not here to rant about the concept (which is interesting), but I think there is a huge problem with the show itself, and it annoyed me enough that I’m bumping today’s planned post to Wednesday, so I can spend a little time yelling at Channel 4. Because although C4 does often have some great sex output, this particular programme is appalling from a consent perspective. It treats some pretty extreme consent violations like they’re one big joke, and fails to mention that in some cases violations of this kind may well be against the law. This problem could (and should) have been spotted and solved long before this show aired. Channel 4, please sort your shit out.
Orgasm gap: the real reason why I don’t like getting head
It’s odd that I’ve never written directly about the orgasm gap, let’s rectify that shall we! Here is a conversation that I’ve had more than once:
Me: I don’t like getting head.
Guy: Oh, but you’ve never had it from me!
I’m gonna make him ask for it
I am sitting with my toyboy on his exceptional sofa. This is a sofa designed for fucking, and I am visiting him this evening because I want to get fucked. We’ve talked about it over WhatsApp and I’ve been thinking about it on the train on the way here. What’s more, if he’s done as he’s been instructed then he’ll have edged himself at least once a day for the last few days in anticipation of me pulling down his PJs and riding him like a show pony. If anyone could be said to be ‘in there’, it is him. And yet for some reason he occasionally forgets how to use his words. Doesn’t understand that when you want a fuck you’re allowed to just ask for it. One of the aspects of domination that I’m really getting into is forcing encouraging him to voice his desires aloud. So I decide that I won’t let him get away with wordless pleading: if he wants a shag, I’m gonna make him ask for it.
If you wouldn’t share their nudes, don’t share their sexts
The other day, I texted a man about his penis in all-caps, simply saying ‘TOUCH IT’. In context, it made sense, however should that man ever take against me, he has not only that but countless other random enthusiastic sex-related texts that he could (though hopefully never would) make public. Including the ones in the image for this post. I think words are pretty powerful, and if you wouldn’t share someone’s nudes (which you absolutely shouldn’t – no, not even if they were sent to you non-consensually) please don’t share their sexts either.