One of the weird things about being an adult – and I mean an adult adult, not the adult I was in my twenties who spent most of her time trying to please other people – is that I’m starting to recognise more situations in which I cause friction by just… not doing exactly what other people want. By ‘other people’ here, I mostly mean ‘men’.

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Today I’m going to tell you an old, old story. Guy meets girl in a workplace. Guy tries to chat girl up. She finds his comments overbearing and creepy. Guy continues, despite her discomfort. When the inevitable HR investigation happens, he explains to the boss that it was ‘only banter’. Starts jumping in any time other colleagues make jokes of any kind: “you wanna watch out, mate! You’ll get reported for that! You can’t say anything these days!”

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Hey there! Thanks so much for getting in touch off the back of one of my tweets. It’s flattering that you want to tell me your opinions/feelings/experiences when it comes to sex. I’m not gonna shame you for what you’re confessing, but please note: this isn’t actually a confessional.

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There’s been so much hateful, tedious, miserable bullshit written about trans people in the UK media it’s hard to pick out just one thing to rant about. I find it tricky to tackle the darker stuff, because I don’t know what I can contribute other than to just note that ‘GC’ (‘gender critical’) appears to be a new euphemism for ‘TERF’ (trans-exclusionary radical feminist), which itself is a euphemism for ‘transphobe’, and if your ideology requires you to actively fight against trans rights then you need to have a stern fucking word with yourself. Sometimes, though, the specifics feel easy enough that even I, an incompetent twat, might have something to contribute. Let’s talk about inclusive language, ‘pregnant people’, and why no one is trying to stop you from using the word ‘woman’.

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I love the idea that people who read erotica are more likely to pick up a pen and write some of their own too. Taking your fantasies and putting them down on paper can be a tremendously joyous thing. But writing erotica can be nervewracking too, even if you’re an experienced writer in other, less sex-focused areas. This week’s guest blogger is just that: a professional writer who recently turned his hand to penning something sexy. He got in touch to offer a guest post about the uniquely nervewracking (and fun!) act of writing erotica for the first time. So if you’ve been tempted to try your hand at it and need a little nudge to get started? This post is for you!

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