Hey there! Thanks so much for getting in touch off the back of one of my tweets. It’s flattering that you want to tell me your opinions/feelings/experiences when it comes to sex. I’m not gonna shame you for what you’re confessing, but please note: this isn’t actually a confessional.

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There’s been so much hateful, tedious, miserable bullshit written about trans people in the UK media it’s hard to pick out just one thing to rant about. I find it tricky to tackle the darker stuff, because I don’t know what I can contribute other than to just note that ‘GC’ (‘gender critical’) appears to be a new euphemism for ‘TERF’ (trans-exclusionary radical feminist), which itself is a euphemism for ‘transphobe’, and if your ideology requires you to actively fight against trans rights then you need to have a stern fucking word with yourself. Sometimes, though, the specifics feel easy enough that even I, an incompetent twat, might have something to contribute. Let’s talk about inclusive language, ‘pregnant people’, and why no one is trying to stop you from using the word ‘woman’.

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I love the idea that people who read erotica are more likely to pick up a pen and write some of their own too. Taking your fantasies and putting them down on paper can be a tremendously joyous thing. But writing erotica can be nervewracking too, even if you’re an experienced writer in other, less sex-focused areas. This week’s guest blogger is just that: a professional writer who recently turned his hand to penning something sexy. He got in touch to offer a guest post about the uniquely nervewracking (and fun!) act of writing erotica for the first time. So if you’ve been tempted to try your hand at it and need a little nudge to get started? This post is for you!

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I think I’ve got it: the cast-iron, rock-solid argument for why you should tell me at least some of what you wank about. Not ‘you’ as in ‘everyone’, ‘you’ as in ‘people I am fucking/wooing/thirsting after.’ I know it is kind of terrifying to let someone deep into your horny, fuckdrunk brain, but this is why you should take your courage in both hands and tell me what you wank about anyway.

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This week’s guest blog includes discussion of sexual violence. It’s by the brilliant @EuphemiseThis, who’s written here in the past about gorgeously sexy things – having her first threesome, being spanked by a couple, and lots more. But today she’s here to share a recent experience with a man who was not who he said he was. One of the things that has helped save countless people I know from abuse is the bravery of people speaking up about when it happens – sharing stories and alerting others to people who may be a danger to them. Huge thanks to her for sharing her story here.

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