Tag Archives: communication

Why you should go to relationship counselling
You! Yes, you! You should go to relationship counselling! OK, maybe not ALL of you, but most of my traffic comes from search so the majority of you are reading this because you googled ‘relationship counselling’, wondering if it was something you should try. Maybe you have worries about relationship counselling and you’d like me to assuage them. Maybe you’re just curious about what goes on behind the counsellor’s door. Or perhaps you’re already convinced that you want to do it, but you need (or your partner needs) that final nudge before you take the plunge. If that’s what you’re after, I’m here for you. Here are five valuable things I got from relationship counselling.

How did you know I was kinky?
When I was about twenty two, a friend of mine asked if I wanted to come to a fetish bar with her. This wouldn’t be a particularly unusual thing for someone to ask me, because I am a huge fan of both fetishes and bars. What made it odd, though, is that I’d never once had a conversation with her about kink. There were plenty of other people she knew better than she knew me, and we’d not once spoken about our own personal kinks. So how the fuck did she KNOW I was kinky?

Playing easy to get
In a world where it seems like everyone plays ‘hard to get’, allow me to explain why being ‘easy to get’ can be miraculous.

In relationships, it is never ever ever ‘only money’
The best date you could take me on wouldn’t be the most expensive. In fact, the worst date I’ve ever been on was the one where the guy was most obsessed with money – buying expensive wine and ordering it loudly so that I (and everyone on the tables nearby) would hear and be impressed with how fat his wallet was. And if I were looking for the perfect partner, ideally I’d want to find one with exactly the same income as me: matched to the penny, to avoid causing fights. Because it is never ‘only money’ – it is so much more than that.

Guest blog: Relearning to have sex after a hysterectomy
This week’s guest blog is by a fantastic fellow blogger – Isabelle Lauren. She writes with touching candour about sex and libido after having a hysterectomy. It’s a brilliant piece, and it gave me an insight into not only one of the ways in which sex can be a struggle, but also about how vital patience and communication are when dealing with sexual difficulties. Check out her brilliant blog (and in particular this recent piece on the sex/violence distinction for over-18 content, which I really enjoyed) and follow her on Twitter @RomanticIsa.