Point-missing app developers SaSie have come up with a new ‘affirmative consent app’ – one of many sexual consent apps that fundamentally misunderstand the nature of consent, or the ways in which humans work. That fills the ‘bad news’ column in this week’s ‘Two things‘, but if you’re after some much better news, scroll down to the bottom for some hardcore panda sex.

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I hate my sofas. I hate them with every single fibre of my being. I hate them more because I should have anticipated the problems I have had with them, and left them to rot in Marks and Spencer where they belonged. With their shitty sleek design and their evil spindly legs. And their squeaky, ill-placed, uncomfortable cushions.

I cannot fuck on my sofa. And although this might sound like an entitled whine (it is), I want you to be able to learn from my mistakes if you can. Never ever ever buy a sofa you cannot fuck on.

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If I’m certain of anything about myself it’s this: I am a fucking nightmare. Anxiety means I am constantly examining every detail to see what might be right and wrong with my life. No – scratch that – every detail of what might be wrong. What’s right gets dumped on the ‘finished’ pile, and rarely given more time than a cursory ‘hooray’ before it’s time to move onto the next thing. Leaving my brain free to focus on unpaid bills, people I may have offended, and a mountain of relationship insecurity on the side.

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Let’s talk about false balance in sex reporting, specifically in regards to the porn debate. The way that the question ‘is porn actually damaging our brains?’ is so often presented as a roughly 50/50 argument. On one side: people like me who love porn (or people who make it) bleating sadly about the loss of our livelihoods/hobbies. On the other side: brave crusaders for truth who are opening our eyes to the dangers with their shocking stats and stories of addiction.

Except – obviously – it’s a bit more complicated than that

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I’m not a fan of the word ‘sexpert’, mostly because it’s occasionally used about me, even though I’ve no idea what I’m doing. But there’s one area in which I’m happy to bestow the ‘sexpert’ title – those who work in the sex industry, and have carefully honed their sexy skills. This week’s guest blogger is just such a person. Jaye, who blogs at How To Almost Be A Porn Star – has worked on phone sex lines for a long time, as well as indulged in plenty of phone sex for fun, so she’s well-placed to tell you just why you should pick up the phone and let your filthy mouth run wild…

I love this post, and if you do too go and check out Jaye’s blog and follow her on Twitter.

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