Apologies for the aggressively search-engine-targeted title here, it’s a question many people ask: how do I keep having fun sex in a long-term relationship? Sometimes it’s framed as ‘how do I keep sex alive’ or ‘how can I introduce new kinks to my partner?’. As I’ve written before, I find it upsetting how easily people assume that sex inevitably falls by the wayside when you’ve been with someone for a few years. My response to ‘sex just dies eventually in long-term relationships’ is ‘not in mine!’. Sex is one of my top priorities, and as a result the two long term relationships I’ve had were both satisfyingly fucky right up to the bittersweet, tortured end. So when a reader asked about sexual adventures, I thought I’d have a go at trying to articulate how I (and my partners, if they’re game) go about creating a culture of sexual exploration when we’re together. This isn’t just a guide for people who feel like their sex life has waned over time, but also for those in sexually active relationships who want to know how to introduce new kinks and sparks. Hopefully I can cover all this off in the same post, because I’m clever and great at multitasking. Also because I think the approach is similar no matter which of those situations you find yourself in.

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Check out part one of this story, about the man on the internet who gets off on giving me money. This is part 2, in which I get him to bankroll something bucket list that I could never have done on my own. Note that this piece contains a decision that is morally questionable at best.

It’s been a while since I spoke to my Paypig – sometimes when you’re in a relationship you have to give less energy to your sidequest sexual hobbies. He disappears for periods of time, and it’s been a few months since I asked him for any cash. He’s still there in a few shining bubbles of my memory, and an unfinished blog draft, but we haven’t really been in touch. However, as Julie Andrews wisely notes at the start of The Sound of Music: when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window. And one of the many windows that’s opened for me since I broke up with my boyfriend is the opportunity to chat to my Paypig once more, and see what mischief he might help me make.

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Occasionally readers complain when I do content notes, because they think that content notes are a way to turn people off a story – a ‘danger’ sign that tells you not to enter because here be dragons – or Beasts. This week’s incredible guest blog, by Kinky Goldfish, in which he indulges a fantasy shared with a lover about letting the primal, aggressive Beast within him drive a powerful kink scene, requires many content notes. And I promise with my whole heart that they will make today’s guest blog more popular, not less. Although content notes, on a blog like mine, sometimes function as ‘warnings’ so a few readers without those kinks can click on past, more commonly their effect is the same as a sales pitch. Like a big sign which says ‘don’t press the big red button’ tempts you to reach out and touch it. So yeah. Today’s guest blog includes vicious birching and hardcore kink. Public exposure and humiliation and aggressive anal sex. Keep out of the big scary castle. Do not read corrupting pornography. Whatever you do, don’t unleash The Beast.

This post contains public exposure, BDSM, birching, stinging nettles, degradation, humiliation, unlubed anal and piss. It is erotic fiction and you shouldn’t try any of this without having in-depth consent chats with your partner and anyone else involved in the scene (including those who will see it playing out). 

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We’ve all got to start somewhere, right? And sometimes when we’re starting out, it’s helpful to have someone with a little (or a lot) more experience to guide us on the journey. Today’s blog is by the wonderful @jamiebear (who runs the Gay News Archive Project and has written amazing things in the past about the hotness of someone’s scent and being a proud submissive). And he’s here to tell a super hot story about fucking a new Dom who was tentatively stepping in to kink, and needed a helping hand on how to do that well…

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When I was young, my family used to be big followers of soaps: Neighbours, Eastenders, Coronation Street. I can’t remember what else there was to do on evenings in the nineties besides yell things at the telly as ludicrous fictional characters cocked up their lives in ever more creative ways. Perhaps this is testament to how my Mum raised me, but when I watched soaps, the thing that got me most irate was how terrible people were at just fucking talking to each other. 

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