I’m so delighted to welcome this guest blogger back – he wrote a fabulous post towards the end of last year about sex and disability, and the value of focusing more on a sexual journey than the destination. It’s a gorgeous piece, please do check it out. Today he’s back with a recommendation – an idea for a playful use of sex tech that could help some people defeat that pernicious inner voice that whispers about inadequacy. Because sometimes sex toys really are ‘toys’ – they help us understand that sex is supposed to be fun. And while we’re having fun, that inner voice sometimes goes quiet…

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I’m super excited to welcome Harley back to the guest blog. In the past he’s talked about the appeal of financial domination (findom), and given a fascinating insight into the appeal of having someone take away your money for kinky reasons. He also brightens up my timeline over on BlueSky @harlequinworks with gorgeous kinky build projects (seriously, check out his website – HarlequinWorks – for kickass projects like installing hard points for rope suspension). I love his work, and I also love his considered and thoughtful take on kink. Today he’s here to give you the lowdown on being a domestic service sub – what misconceptions to people often have about this kind of activity? And what exactly does he get out of doing the chores for a dominant? Take it away Harley…

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1. It’s been a long time since I’ve fucked anyone with a strap on, so there’s an element of novelty. I’ve half forgotten how it feels to slide inside. I’m keen to remember.

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This is a story about a woman having a wank. It’s important that I tell you this clearly right at the start. I would like you to imagine, please, a woman lying in bed with sex toys easily to hand, eyes closed and a sleep mask on for relaxation. Picture the corner of her mouth twitching slightly as she realises she’s conjured a sexy idea, then imagine the way she brings her fingertips to her mouth and spits softly, so she can start gently warming up her clit.

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You can feel your lover’s pulse with one finger. You know this, of course, but I bet you don’t think about it often. I thought about it the other day and the force of it hit me like a punch in the chest. You can feel the thud of their blood running through their body, keeping them alive. The heartbeat that powers the person who makes you quiver with need. The one you want to bury your nose, your face, your fucking life in… you can feel your lover’s pulse with a single finger. Isn’t that awesome?

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