This is a very silly sexy thing I wrote back in 2014, around the time I quit my day job and started sex blogging full-time. Back then, I used to have quite a few horny email exchanges like this: part ‘update my other half on my working day’ and part ‘horn for what I’ll do to him when I get home’. Something reminded me of it a few months ago, and I thought it’d be fun to throw it up as audio. Big thanks to Luke (aka @Beardynoise on Twitter) who very kindly helped me bring it to life when we were in the studio.

Mail to: John

Subject: This evening

Hey, just a quick one – I’m going to be back late tonight. Work drinks. Anything you want me to pick up on the way home?

X

p.s. Can’t stop thinking about that thing you did yesterday.

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Regular readers will remember the incredible Clara Dunn (@author_dunn on Twitter) – she’s shared a couple of stunning pieces before. One about a deliciously tense and beautiful casual fuck in a laundromat, plus a gorgeous non-fiction piece about why you shouldn’t have sex to the album ‘Harry’s House’. Her erotica style is so languid and measured in its pacing that I haven’t cut this too much for length – it’s a long read though, one to luxuriate in. A story about a student (who is over 18) sneaking over to her lecturer’s house for the next chapter in their lust-drenched affair. Give yourself some time to enjoy this one, team…

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This fantastic essay about putting things in your mouth is written and read by the sublime Robyn of RobynEatsEverything, and it originally appeared on their website. Once you’ve enjoyed the smut here (as text or audio – click ‘play’ above!), click the link at the end if you’d like to read part two…

The first time I ever sucked dick, we’d just been to McDonald’s and it tasted like strawberry milkshake. It was actually my first time in a McDonald’s too; what a day.

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If you’re familiar with the free use secretary stories that I wrote earlier this year, you’ll know what these erotic fiction pieces involve by now: a secretary who has ‘free use‘ (the ability for the boss to fuck her as and when he wants) written into her employment contract. So far in the series, my lovely free use secretary has been interviewed, fucked over a desk while her boss is on the phone to someone else, and then used as a fucktoy to impress visiting clients. In this instalment, she’s cornered in the stationery cupboard by two members of junior management, who decide they want a turn too. If you’d prefer to hear me read it into your headphones, support me on Patreon for access (but don’t worry if you can’t afford to – it’ll go up for free here eventually anyway). Note that as with all the stories in the wank tales series, they’re fantasy, not a way to behave in real life. I enjoy these scenarios in my head, because I have a kink for misogyny. But this one – like the others – involves implied non-consent/coercion, brutality, misogyny, and women being used like we’re merely holes: a fun space to play in theory, but never a way to treat people in the real world.

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The hardest thing about editing today’s guest blog was stopping myself from holding my breath as I waited for each beat of it to drop. The pace, rhythm, atmosphere and intensity of this story is so good it genuinely fucked with my breathing. This gorgeous piece of erotica about a powerful and intense casual sex erotica is by Clara Dunn (@author_dunn on Twitter), who you might remember from her fabulous intro guest blog a few weeks ago, about why you shouldn’t fuck to the album Harry’s House. She sent this one over at the same time, and it is so hot it fucking melted me. I hope you enjoy being utterly ruined in the same way…

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