It’s really fucking shit, let’s start with that. Lockdown continues/escalates across the UK, to varying degrees of clusterfuck depending on where you are. One thing is certain: at some point you’ll be trapped at home, bored and miserable and longing for the Before Times. To try and ease the misery, and plug the awesome companies who support my site, here’s a quick rundown of some sexy things to keep you entertained through the oncoming horror show.

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Bear with me, I’m rusty as fuck. Something I could have said equally to him as to you. It’s been a long long time since I wrote up a fuckstory that was about anyone other than my ex. So bear with me, please, I know I will not get this right.

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This guest blog is getting a very short and sweet introduction, namely I’m going to tell you two things. Firstly that it’s written by an excellent friend of mine who thought too little of her writing skills when she sent it to me, so I am publishing it here to show her she is good and cool and filthy in all the best ways. Secondly that this impulse fuck is exactly what the fuck I want right now. Sadly life may not deliver the reality of it, but it can certainly deliver the fantasy. Take it away, mate…

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This post was initially written with a particular guy in mind. He doesn’t read the blog, but he may at some point want an idea of how I like to get fucked, so I thought it might be hot to write him a story that I can give to him at some point. But then I ended up writing pure porn and I realised it was way too intimidating for that kind of discussion. It definitely does work for a blog post, though, because it’s filth. So here goes: what I like in bed.

We’ve banged a few times now – just enough to get to know each other a little, but not so much that I’ve exposed all the detail of the ways in which I really want you to fuck me. You see, although I know that communication is good, I also worry that if I go all-in with my comms before we’ve even fucked once, the pressure to tick everything off the list might make you feel like you’re wrangling to get the top score on Mario Kart. So I haven’t really told you this yet, I’ve just enjoyed the simple, casual fucks: the noises you make and the way you touch me and the sensation of your dick sliding in. But we’ve done it three times now, so here the fuck goes: here’s what I like in bed.

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This gorgeous tour through dirty thoughts about summer fucking is written by Quinn Rhodes, and originally appeared on hir website. It is read here by Girl on the Net.

It’s summer, and all I can think about is fucking. Even when it’s too hot to fuck, the heat just seems to be making me more and more horny. My mind is filled with filthy thoughts and I’ve pulled a few of these together to share with y’all here, in lieu of a blog post that requires me to think of coherent points. I’m far too turned on for that.

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